Everything Miz Meliz, I Love My LIfe

Re-becoming

I love my life right now! Said no one ever, right? Well, I did. And I do. Seriously, no matter how difficult things get, I am grateful for my life. I love it!

I started writing a post called, Living the Life I Want, in April 2013. Looking back at my drafts I found these quotes that apply perfectly to what I’m going through now.

Jean Shinoda Bolen says, “As soon as you recover or discover something that nourishes you and brings you joy, resolve to care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”

Alice Walker says, “Look closely at the present you are constructing. It should look like the future you are dreaming.”

“The future depends on what you do today.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“Your own positive future begins in this moment. Every goal is possible from here.” – Lai Tzu

In my post, “Peace of Mind, Imagine the Possibilities 3-7-13, I said, “Knowing that stress causes ailments to manifest and weaken me, I recall the goodness that surrounds me and I regain my strength.  It is almost instant.  My head lifts.  I feel light.  When I walk, I walk tall.  When I speak, I speak with love.

It has to do with following through.  I honor the practices of self-care.  I honor my core values.

“When your values are the source of your actions, even the lows become a positive experience.” –Sandi Amorin, Life Coach

So, how did I go from hard times to living my best life and loving it? It has to do with staying true to myself and to my ideals.

It’s 2019 and my theme for this year is Simple Joys. My plan is to really take it easy. It’s the no plan plan.

Of course, things are starting to come together and some events are in the works in the coming months. I’m traveling a bit here and there and my husband’s 50th birthday is happening soon. I also made a commitment to teach an art camp this summer. But these things are spread out throughout the year and I will try to remain true to my theme and allow the simple joys to be my focus.

Melissa Reyes, 2019 #SimpleJoys

This comes after a very difficult couple of years. I pushed myself to new limits and I was tested in unexpected ways. I spent my 49th year convinced that if I set my intention on action and activating my best self that I would be more successful than ever before and be able to reach new heights.

Ironically, one of the most symbolic things I could use to describe how that plan worked out is so cliche it’s a little embarrassing- – I actually got a treadmill and made videos on You Tube and Instagram hoping to inspire myself and others with my “take action” attitude. When in fact I spent all year literally running in place and not getting anywhere.

See one of my treadmill videos here:

To my defense, I weathered through some really tough crises with the help of my husband, family, and dearest friends and learned a lot about myself in the process. I gained a deeper perspective and I am at peace with it. I still love my treadmill as much as I love all the things I attempted during the past few years that didn’t take me as far as I had hoped.

Melissa Reyes, 2019 #SimpleJoys http://MizMeliz.wordpress.com
This is me – feeling hopeful!

I might not have successfully gotten a new business off the ground, made any money selling books, card decks, jewelry, or anything else, or become the superstar of my dreams – but I did take action. I tried. I worked my butt off and made the effort. Which is more than I ever did before. Doing that lead me to meeting people and going places that I otherwise never would have. More importantly, I went outside of my comfort zone and saw myself rise up and develop my abilities, hone my talents, and excel in unexpected ways.

All of it was extremely satisfying, just like knowing that I have walked the entire length of Italy (736 miles) and climbed over 2000 floors (which is the equivalent of the height of a hot air balloon in flight) during 2018 without even leaving California or being lifted off the ground.

So here it is, a new year, a new intention, a new focus. I like to take what I have learned and move forward in my life mindful that each moment has its own merit. I am a new person in many ways. I am also the best at being the me I like being too. I am going to relish that this year. I consider that the simple joy of living life.

I am the best at being the me I like.

As a life coach I often use “re-” words to help in the moving on or moving forward process. Review, recharge, refresh, renew. I heard a phrase today that really encompassed what I have been feeling. Re-become. I am so ready for that. I became who I want to be. I am fully vested. I tried a few things and that was good. Now I can re-become me. It’s that simple.

Melissa Reyes, 2019 #SimpleJoys Sunrise http://MizMeliz.wordpress.com
Re-becoming like a sunrise after a rainy day. Photo by MReyes 1-2019
Blog Venture, Everything Miz Meliz

Whatever You Do – Don’t Laugh! Being a Total Rock Star Isn’t Easy!

In order to express myself, I must first accept myself.

One of my biggest fears about expressing myself and sharing my creativity and talents has always been the fear of being laughed at or dismissed.  I have so many defense mechanisms in place to avoid being laughed at and ridiculed.  I don’t want to place blame.  That doesn’t change things now.  Heck, I don’t even want to explore the reasons why I am the way I am.  It won’t really matter.  I already know. I am the way I am.  I accept myself the way I am.  I have fears and I handle them.

I am at a point in my life that I have accepted myself and now I am ready to express myself.  I began doing that when I began blogging.  Sharing my thoughts, my feelings, and my experiences with the “world” – with you – has been the key that unlocked my true self and set me free!  That freedom has fueled the flame that keeps my desire for love, joy and happiness burning in my heart.

It’s my time to shine!

Miz Meliz at Urban Desert Cabaret http://mizmeliz.com photo property of Lito Reyes Copyright 2013

This week I had the opportunity to share one of my poems at a performance of spoken word alongside some very talented musicians, poets, and artists.  When I was asked if I wanted to read a poem I said, “Yes!” without hesitation.  When I was asked if I was nervous, I said, “Yes!” but it was the excitement kind of nerves, not the sick or stage fright kind.    The fears that came to mind were brief fleeting moments of panic.   What if I mess up?  What if they laugh at me?  What if no one likes my poem.  What if I get sick to my stomach?  What if I have an anxiety attack? What if I get a migraine or vertigo and can’t go on?  These things have happened before.

The thoughts of my biggest fears did not remain in my consciousness for very long. I have always wanted to get to a point in my life where the things I enjoy doing are not a challenge.  They are just a part of me.  I want to show the world that I can do these things well.  I have always wanted to be able to share my talents without concern for what others think, without fear of judgement.  This was significant in my life’s journey because I have now become more confident in myself and my abilities than ever before.  It was because of that confidence that I did not get nervous or sick. And you know what?  I rocked it!  It was great!  Not just because I did not get ill.  Not just because my friends said I was good.  Not just because I didn’t mess it up.  I enjoyed the experience.  I shared my talent with my friends and family.  And – no one laughed!  I did great because I believed in myself.

The Urban Desert Cabaret

Thursday night’s performance of The Urban Desert Cabaret was a show that my cousin, Joe City Garcia arranged.  The show takes place about once a month and if you like folk music, art, and poetry – you should definitely see it.  Most of the performers have a few things in common, they either know Joe City and/or have some connection to Joshua Tree – a community of artists who live or work in the desert.  These men and women all have a soulful camaraderie and connection to the earth, to light and to love.  Even if you just appreciate great music and song – this show is for you!  You can read more about UDC in my previous posts: Hollywood Nights and Urban Desert Cabaret.

copyright Joe Garcia 2013
It was exciting to be named in the event flyer!

I don’t want to forget anyone, so here is the line up from the January 31st show: Guest artists: Billy Gill (songs), Paul McCarty (songs) Monique Caruso (songs), Cari Banke (art/spoken word), Lalo Kikiriki (song/spoken word), Laura Anne Lacy (songs), Miz Meliz (Melissa Reyes) (spoken word) and more TBA! Plus songs and jams with the UDC combo: Jeremy Gilien, Tonya Lee Jaynes, Robert Matsuda & host Joe City Garcia.  First, Joe City and the Urban Desert Cabaret combo band started off the show with a few songs.  Their music is transfixing.  It brings me to a place of soulful reflection.  Have you ever driven through the desert and listened to the album by U2, Joshua Tree?  It opens up your horizons.  That is how Joe’s music is to me!  He is a rock star that I have admired my whole life.

Joe thanked everyone for coming and explained a bit about UDC.  Then, he said something like “who wants to go first?” and at that moment, I had just stood up.  He looked at me and said, “Miz Meliz – are you ready?”  I had told myself ahead of time that whenever he asked me I would say, “I am ready!” and I did.  And I was!  I didn’t expect to go first, but I was happy to because then I could relax and enjoy the rest of the show.  It was a bit of a bummer because some of my friends missed it, but it was good for me.

Next up was a great performer who played accordion and sang, her name is Lalo. . . her songs were light and fun and she told her stories in a way that made me smile.  She was a bit of a crack up and brought some humor to the scene. After Lalo, Billy Gill came up and performed a few songs.  His guitar playing is remarkable and his singing is impressive! I enjoyed the guitarist Monique Caruso and was impressed that one of the pieces she performed had just been written the night before!  (I wrote the poem that I read over a decade before!!  Some people cant help but share their talent, it precedes them.) Then we had the pleasure of a performance by the  Wicked Saints with Paul McCarty and Retro Rob Thomas.  They were awesome!

Cari Banke spoke about her art that donned the walls all evening and shared some introspective poetry that she wrote to accompany her pieces.  When she took the stage, she said, “Are you all in a good mood? Having a good time?  Well, I am about to bring you down.”  Her art and poetry was about genocide and survival.  She was very insightful and did manage to leave everyone on an upbeat note! There was more singing and guitar playing, more poems were shared and the UDC combo wrapped up the evening with more tunes. It’s surprising that all of this is put together and performed without rehearsals or much else in the way of planning.  It always comes off flawlessly, because of the spirit and expertise of Joe City – all the performers make a commitment to be there and they bring their best to share for that moment.  It was an honor to be a part of it!

My performance is on my You Tube Channel and the poem is posted here: That Funky Tree.

Two Funny Brains

Saturday I had the chance to spend some time with some very creative friends that shared their unique talents with others too!  I have recently shared some of my humor with Fazel Huts and I always say that laughter is the best medicine but a true comedienne is a hot commodity!  It is not easy to be a woman and be funny.  That’s why I love the Two Funny Brains!  two funny brains

I had the unique opportunity to visit Jessica Bern and attend a “girly clothes party” at her home.  Debbie Anderson was there, too.  I couldn’t believe how lucky I am!  I asked Jessica, “You know who I am, right?” when she invited me to this intimate setting.  She was surprised by my question.  I know we are friendly on Facebook and have “talked” late into the night via instant message on many occasions.  But to me, she is a total rock star and I am a total groupie! (I met Jessica for the first time when I had the rare opportunity to be an extra on an episode of Blog This.)

photo credit AJ Ferman Copyright 2013
Jessica Bern & Miz Meliz

To me being “a total rock star” is being able to show off your talents in a big way.  I admire everyone who does that and makes it look so easy.  I know it is not easy. 

The Poetry Salon

After hanging out with the ladies at Jessica’s house, I headed over to The Fat Dog Fairfax, a fun eatery in Hollywood.  I had the pleasure of being invited to attend a special event hosted by Jennifer Styperk, poet and CEO of Poetry Salon.  It was their annual Valentine’s Day event to kick off this season of love.  What better way to celebrate your love for someone than by getting them a bespoke poem for the occasion.  (A bespoke poem is a custom crafted work of art based on stories you provide, inspired by an individual muse whom you want to honor.)  I was thrilled to meet this amazing entrepreneur rock star poet!  I was impressed that Jennifer took her talent as a poet and made it into a business that is thriving and employs and engages other poets to use their craft to help others. (See this great blog post with an interview of Jennifer Styperk for more about Poetry Salon and Bespoke Poems: http://mngirlinla.com/2013/02/04/looking-for-a-personalized-gift-try-out-poetry-salon/#comment-22702)

Photo Credit Deanna Leigh of Poetry Salon copyright 2013
Miz Meliz with Jamie Gall and Jennifer Styperk

Creativity and rocking a special talent comes naturally to some people and it is a difficult journey for most.  No matter what, keep at it!  Don’t ever give up hope!  Face your fears.  Find ways of making it work.  It’s your time to shine!

Behind the scenes busy at work at all the above events are the bloggers that I know that help to promote and in doing so are encouraging and supporting one another constantly.  Please check out their blogs, Like them on Facebook, and Follow them on Twitter and Instagram. Carolyn, Jamie, AJ, and Deanna. I had a blast sharing these experiences with them and I am glad to have their friendship!

Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

An Enchanted Evening

I’ve been meeting a lot of angels lately!  Kindred spirits who come and sit next to me, we get to talking and before I know it we have an instant bond, we are in to the same thing, we have a similar purpose. And in a crowded room there is no reason we would ever talk or meet or even be introduced, but as fate would have it, I find myself seated next to an accomplished author, an aspiring poet, a fellow adventuress. It never happened to me as frequently or as obviously in the past as it has been happening lately.

Have you ever asked for a sign from God that you are doing the right thing?  Please Lord, show me the way!  This is how He answers me. It’s as though I am walking my path and the light posts along the way are turning on and everything is brightly lit ahead of me. I can walk on without worry because I know it is a safe route. I know I am being supported. I will not walk alone. Even though my friends and family may not understand what I am doing and even though I didn’t know anyone else personally who has done what I want to do, I do not walk alone.

It is not that I am lacking the confidence to do it. I am not afraid to turn the corner on a dimly lit path, but for some reason the lights are being turned on. It is as if I am being pulled in that direction, lead actually. It feels so right and I want it so much. I have never felt this level of confidence and self assuredness before. I can do this. I am doing it. My vision is coming true. I am making it happen.

This weekend I attended a Masquerade Ball.  I planned to write about it.  It was a 50th birthday celebration of a friend who I recently met through my son.  It was quite magical.  I enjoy a dress up party and having been an event designer, I looked forward to this for the mere joy of attending a well executed party and I hoped it would be.  It far exceeded my expectations!  It was completely enjoyable and lots of fun.  There was amazing food and drink.  The venue and service was exquisite.  The guests were lively and genuinely nice.  The entertainment was perfectly planned, in sync, modest, and served the purpose of highlighting the life of the guest of honor without going over the top.  It truly was magical.  

At the Masquerade Ball

It was magical for me in a very special way.  I had been working on writing my book this weekend.  I am turning the outline of my Life Balance Workshop into an ebook.  Even though I have multiple writing projects currently in the works, I thought I would give the Kindle ebook upload a try with this idea first.  That way, I can have it in time for the Spa Retreat that I am speaking at in October.  (That I am typing these words in reference to my own life is HUGE and very magical!  I can hardly believe it!) 

I am loving the experience of piecing my book together and cannot wait to get it finished so I can get it online, and I relished having a three day weekend to work on it.  Yet, I found myself spending the day at an auto dealership  and taking care of important family business and did not have a chance to get back to it before needing to get ready for the party.  I was trying not to have any really groundbreaking thoughts about the book so I could enjoy the party, hopefully you get what I mean by that!  I really wanted to enjoy myself and be mindful of the moment at hand.  I took lots of pictures and I spoke to everyone at the table.  I was trying hard not to talk about the writing.  I was just being a great mom and wife and enjoying the fantastic cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, when  I began talking to the lady seated next to me.  Guess what!  She is an author, who has around forty books published on Amazon for Kindle!  She was nice enough to tell me to contact her if I had any questions.  We really connected and it was over the top coincidence that we met because she is in my genre and we have similar interests!  When she began to tell me the topics that she has written about, it was as though she was reading the list of topics that I write about!  Spirituality, self development, life, love.

Author, Elizabeth Skoglund with her grand daughter and namesake.

I used to be the person at a table of strangers who did not speak unless spoken to.  How many amazing people did I miss connecting with all those years that I was so self absorbed, so worried about making the right impression, concerned about exposing myself as imperfect, less than, not accomplished, under-educated, and so on?  What was my problem?  I was insecure.  Immature.  Inadequate.  No more.  No way!

I love to hear people’s stories and I love that I can Google most people and find out more about them!!  Every outing is an adventure when I know that if I open the door and ask to enter, people will invite me in.  I have learned so many wonderful things when given that opportunity.  I am so grateful for

that gift.  I am so amazed that the angels will talk to me!

Here is a challenge for you, next time you are at a party and sit next to someone you have never met – really talk to them.  They could be there to guide you!  They could be the sign you asked for.

Miz Meliz on the way to the ball
On the way to the ball, I should have known it would be an enchanted evening!

Everything Miz Meliz, The Happiness Project

Love & Marriage

My husband and I have been married for twenty years now.  We are totally in love and we are a “happily married couple” in every sense of the phrase.  When people ask me how we stay happily married I usually give them the spiel about communication and being friends first, it takes an equal partnership, yadda, yada, yada.  All of those things are true of any healthy relationship.  With close friends, family and even at work things run smoothly if you follow one rule – If you don’t understand something, ask.  I believe what makes a happily married couple is two people who are happy to begin with that are willing to stay together.

There have been plenty of times when either one have us have been unhappy for one reason or another.  So far, we have been lucky to never be unhappy at the same time.  Sad at the same time, yes. Distressed, worried, yes.  We have always been able to support each other through difficult times.  Generally, my husband is a pretty happy guy!  When he has been unhappy about our marriage or about me, he was willing to work through it and he has always been very devoted to me.  Even at the worst of times, I have supported him and been able to stick with it.

I am an optimistic person for the most part.  I have suffered through clinical depression.  When I feel like the world is closing in on me, I begin to count my blessings and being married to this man is always at the top of the list!  Gratitude goes a long way on the path to happiness.  When I am truly happy with myself and my situation, my love flows freely.  When I am able to truly love, and be loving, the feeling spreads to those around me.  My beloved responds and showers me with his love.  The root of my happiness starts with what is in my own heart.

Our Wedding Day, April 11, 1992

My husband is my “true love.”  But, I have been in love before.  I had a crush on an upper classmen in high school and after he graduated, he came back to volunteer!  I was determined to get a date with him.  We became friends and did start dating.  I was trying to play things cool and was open to dating other people.  I thought I was doing the mature thing and that would keep him interested.  I had already begun dating the person I eventually married.  My big crush took the “high road” and stepped back to let me decide what (or who) I really wanted and he joined the Air Force.  When he left he said, “You’ll always be my girl.”

We wrote to each other for awhile and as would be expected, my relationship with the boy who stayed around got stronger.  After awhile, I lost touch with my crush.  But, in my heart, I was waiting for him to come home to me and sweep me off my feet.  Instead, I got a call from him to tell me he was getting married.  I was heartbroken!!  I asked him, “If we had kept writing to each other would I be the one making the wedding plans?”  He said simply, “You will always be my girl!”  That didn’t help!

Every few years, he would come home to visit family and friends.  No matter where I was living or working, he would find me.  Many times I would get a call out of the blue and it would be his deep distinctive voice saying, “Hey girl.”  My heart would sink.  I would get that tingly nervous feeling.  We would get caught up on each other’s lives.  When I saw him, I always had a feeling that I lost him when I had the chance and that he came around to see me because he wanted me to make a move.  I never had the nerve.  Besides, I was married to a wonderful guy!  Then, as both of our families grew, we lost touch again.  I hadn’t heard from him for a very long time.  We were friends on Facebook, but I really didn’t even follow or keep up on him anymore.  He had stayed in the Air Force as a career and had travelled the world.  It had been about six years since I heard from him.  Then I got a call at work.

He had retired, was divorced, and was planning to move back to the area.  What was that middle part?  And he wanted to know if we could get together when he was in town.  Was he back to sweep me off my feet?  It’s been twenty-five years since we had a romance and I was still thinking he could be coming back for me.  Well, not really.  The teenage girl trapped inside me who was still pining for him heard that he was coming back.  The sensible me did the right things and asked questions.  But that sneaky little girl was still curious!

He came to my office and took me out to lunch.  He was still handsome and interesting and was everything I had remembered him to be.  He told me all about how he and his wife split up.  He told me he needed to take care of his ailing parents. He asked me about my life, family and work. We talked for hours.  I decided to ask him what made him think of me and if he still had any feelings for me after all this time.  To be honest, I have no idea what he said.  He spoke.  It sounded positive. He said the right things, tactfully, sweetly, honestly.  I am sure of it.  But all I could think about was, “What the heck do I think I am doing?”

The adult me answered, “You are flattering yourself.”  True that!  I needed it and deserved it, everyone does!  After all, it was flattering.  He was coming for a visit down memory lane and he thought of me. But it definitely wasn’t at all because he wanted to see if I was willing to take him back after all these years.  Don’t think it’s because he is that much of a stand up guy that he wouldn’t break up my marriage.  Of course he wouldn’t.  But I’ll never know for sure.  No, it is because he was already seeing someone!!  It turns out that he was networking for job connections so that he could move here to be closer to his girlfriend!

I just want you to know that all of this nonsense taught me some lessons.   First, love never dies.  First love, school girl crushes, puppy love, it lasts as long as you remember how it felt to love someone.  Like a flower, you can tend to it and it can take root and grow and grow and eventually branch into new directions and last forever.  Or, you can pluck it and put it in water.  It may last awhile that way and be beautiful.  You can preserve the memory of its beauty and press it in a book.  It will remind you of your youth and how you were once someone’s girl.  But if you take it out and touch it and try and make it grow after all that time, it will crumble and fall apart.  Some things are just not meant to be.

That doesn’t mean it was a waste of time!  The other thing I learned is that an idea trapped in one’s mind fades away quite easily.  All you have to do is let go.  It took seeing him again to make that happen.  It took thinking about it and planning and evaluating all the what if’s and could I evers.  Could I have seduced him and begged him to come back to me?  Would he have?  Could I have a chance to start over?  I guess not or I would be writing a heated love connection story right now rather than giving advice on what to do about unrequited love!  The point is, I let go of the pipe dream.  I was the stand up girl.  I was in love with my husband.  I did not go looking for this guy!  I helped him get an interview at my work and put in a good word.  I was relieved when he didn’t get the job.  I’ll bet my husband was relieved, too!

Our 20th Anniversary

Love & Marriage

The Happiness Project

Chronically Distracted

May 1, 2012

by Melissa Reyes

http://mizmeliz.com

A Year With Myself, Everything Miz Meliz

My Authentic “Bad Ass” Self

AYWM 9: “Authenticity: Emphasizing What Makes You Different”

In the past few weeks I have evaluated my strengths and looked at the things that I am passionate about. This week I am thinking about what it means to be authentic and what makes me different.

I agree with C.A. Kabu who says that authenticity is a funny thing. She says, “You know it if it’s there, and you definitely know when it’s not. Defining authenticity requires much introspection. You have to think about your character, your values, your strengths, and their intersections. Eventually, you realize that the definition of authenticity is perhaps simpler than you expected. You can, for instance, reach the conclusion that being authentic is actually related to having a sense of who you are and sharing it with the world without reservations.”

Considering this helped me to determine why I should care about being authentic, how I can fully embrace my uniqueness, and how my life can change when I remain true to myself.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have a kinda “been here, done this” feeling as I go through these exercises. I have been enjoying going through old journals and comparing my perceptions of my life from ten years ago to now. Some of the questions I asked myself back in 2001 are very similar to the introspective I am working on now. What fascinates me most is that even though I am most definitely in a different place now than I was back then, and I have changed and matured in many ways, the core of my being, my beliefs and values are very much the same. I do live an authentic life. It is when I lose sight of who I am and who I strive to be, that things get difficult.

In 2001, I asked myself the following questions at the beginning of a journal that I called. “I Love My Life.”  By answering these questions, I was able to determine who I was and who I wanted to be.  I believe this is when I embraced authenticity and learned to love myself.

  • Is my overall outlook on life marked by hope and optimism?
  • Are there things in my life that I am passionate about?
  • At the conclusion of a day or week, do I often have a warm sense of satisfaction about my accomplishments and contributions?
  • Can I become very still and experience a sense of peace?
  • Do some parts of my life bring me a healthy sense of pride?

     

    What makes me different from all the rest? I see beauty in everyTHING!


You Are a Snowflake, Right?

By Karen Caterson

Hi, Snowflake. You are a snowflake, right?

We all are! I mean, we’re all unique, beautiful, one-of-a-kind—just like snowflakes.

Of course, all of us gorgeous, individual snowflakes are also part of our culture, our society—our SNOW.

And there are a lot of wonderful things about SNOW. Joining with other snowflakes can be fun (think snow forts, snow fights, snow angels, and snowmen).

But…

In our culture most of the emphasis is on the SNOW, way less on our uniqueness— our individual snowflake beauty.

We can even lose our snowflake-ness to the SNOW.

We all are snowflakes (unique and beautiful), but we’re not always comfortable with that.

Sometimes even thinking about our snowflake qualities (our differences, our beauty) makes us squirm—we can feel more like a flake than a snowflake.

But knowing our differences—and living them is what makes us authentic. And being authentic leads to making a difference in the world as we share our unique offerings!

So, how do we emphasize what makes us different—when we’re not always comfortable with our uniqueness (our snowflake-ness)?

It starts with awareness, mindfulness.

We can allow ourselves to get curious about the times when we feel or think differently than SNOW (than whatever is status quo at the time).

Many of us really enjoy connection, so we intuitively look for ways that we’re like others—ways we agree.

Purposely looking for how we think and feel differently can seem very odd, but continued mindfulness and curious reflection about our differences (our uniqueness) will grow into being more comfortable with our snowflake-ness… and that will grow into our snowflake beauty being emphasized naturally.

There is no one in this world that is exactly like me. My thoughts and feelings are entirely my own. Sometimes I feel like there are no original ideas. I strive to be different. I want to stand out. I want to shine. If I have an idea, I Google it. I am always disappointed, but not surprised, that someone somewhere has already thought of it. As a young person, I thought I was a trend-setter. Truthfully, I was trendy. But I spent a lot of time with people who weren’t so they thought I was the fashion-forward person. Did that make me a poser? No way! I always knew what I liked and I was not afraid to be me. I think that is what being authentic means. Not being afraid to stand up for oneself and being courageous enough to show your true colors.

I would say that I am off the charts when it comes to living my life authentically. Do I sound conceited? Why shouldn’t I have a sense of self-pride? I just did some serious soul-searching about what makes me unique and special. I can’t get over my bad self right now! I am on this! Right? Well, okay. The truth is sometimes, it fluctuates. I feel that lost feeling, like I am feeling my way through a forest. Things don’t always go my way. I resist or try to control things. I fall short of my potential. I start to listen to that critical inner voice. When I remember how good things truly are and I remember my focus, I can find my path fairly easily.

Right now the path is illuminated with those new bulbs that are supposed to last six times as long as the old kind and be more energy-efficient. . . and I see where I am going. It’s a lovely road that includes a lot of fun stops along the way. In six months from now I would like to be writing regularly and maintaining my blog while maintaining the balance of managing a home with three teen boys and working full-time. My goal for this period of time is to give each area of my life my all. Mostly, I want to be happy, keep up the energy that I am experiencing now, and stay true to myself. And as C.A. Kobu says, “When you are in touch with who you really are and welcome your authentic self with open arms, your life acquires a different and marvelous flow, and you feel oh so good!” Oh yeah! I sure do!

Visit Karen Caterson at Square-Peg People

See C.A. Kobu flourish at http://wakeupandflourish.com/

Join A Year With Myself and explore your authentic self . . . http://ayearwithmyself.com/

A Year With Myself, Everything Miz Meliz

Truth is Essential

Ronna Detrick says, “Self-love is something we hear about all the time. And we feel pressure to do it—all the time, perfectly, proficiently. But pressure is not consistent with self-love, whether self- or other-imposed. Rather, it comes through grace—and permission, time and patience.”

“Love is patient, love is kind… It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (from 1 Corinthians 13).

As Ronna puts it, “These are the nourishment and sustenance of ever-growing self-acceptance and self-love; of telling and living your truth.”

These unedited, uncensored words and feelings are my truth:

I will take time to practice grace. I give myself the permission to live my truth. I give myself the time. I have all the time in the world. I will be patient with myself.

If I extended myself endless patience and kindness, I would feel calm and totally free.  I could do no wrong!  There would be no clock timing me. No deadlines. No worries or concerns.

I would never ask myself, “Am I doing the right thing?”  or “Do I even know what I am talking about?”  I would never be hard on myself or feel badly about what I am doing or not doing.

It wouldn’t bother me that the dishes and laundry pile up.  I wouldn’t stress about how the bills are going to get paid.  Or, if I need to exercise more or watch my diet.

I don’t know if I could handle just gliding through life that way!  Would it seem like I had no cares at all? No, because I do care.  Caring about these things makes me me!

Endless patience.  That means no limits and no constraints.  Just time.  All the time in the world.  All the “eventuallys” would slip away and become “whens” rather than “if I evers”.

Endless patience.  That means having faith that it will be.  Just knowing it will be.  Trusting myself that it will be.

And Kindness.  Instead of putting restrictions on myself and feeling bad and guilty, I would just be kind, understanding and loving to myself.

It really boils down having faith in myself and trusting that I am responsible and I will be what I need to be and do what I need to do when it counts.

If I were to let go of my internal record-keeping, the laundry list of all that I’ve done wrong, and all the places in which I feel inferior, sub-par, or less-than, I would feel happy with the way I am.

I like myself.  I honestly do like myself and I think I am great!  I am great!

If I could let go of the feeling that I need everyone to agree with me, I would breathe easier and be happy.  If I could stop harping on past mistakes and just keep on keeping on, rise above the misperceptions and not take things personally, learn from the errors and make adjustments and absorb the rest, I could breathe freely and rest peacefully.

If I were to be ever-so still and listen for my own internal voice, the one that existed before the irritating ones took over, I would hear these words:

You are who you are Melissa.  You are beautiful and kind.  You care about others.  You love your family.  You are smart and talented.  You make things happen.  You are special and sweet.  All that matters is that you remain true to yourself.  Take care of yourself.  Enrich your spirit and feed your soul.  Live all the moments of your life.  Be.  Do.  Love.  Lift yourself up.  Stay strong in the knowing.

If I were to do whatever I wanted, whatever I felt—no ramifications or risks —I would stop working.  I would make my home beautiful.  I would walk.  I would write.  I would travel.  I would be with my loved ones.  I would have parties.  I would shop.  I would have fun.  I would laugh more.  I would drive.  I would eat out.  I would wear comfortable clothes.  I would sleep in.  I would stay up late.  I would drink and smoke.  I would get better at Scrabble.  I would go to the beach.

If I could say anything I wanted, whatever I felt – no ramifications or risks – I do not know if I would say anything.  I don’t feel the need to explain or justify.  I just want to be free to express myself and hope that I am understood.  I want the world to know that I have good intentions.  I want to be happy.  I want others to be happy.  I want to help them.  I love the people around me.

I would say . . .I accept you.  Please accept me the way I am.  Please just ask me if you don’t understand me.  Am I really that hard to understand?  Am I hard to like?

If I could say anything, I would ask these questions.  I would say, “Excuse me – but what is it about me that you don’t like?”  “What don’t you get?”

“Because, I am just doing my thing here.  I am just happy to be alive and I want to be a good person and survive another day.  Is that okay with you?”

I would tell my boss and co-workers, “Put me to work.  Use my talents.  If I don’t do things right, tell me.  If I need to get better, give me a chance.”

I would tell my friends,  “If I hurt you in some way, please know it was unintentional and I honestly do not want to hurt you.  I want to make you happy.  I want to make you feel secure.  You can trust me.  You should know that I love you.  I have nothing against you.  I think you are amazing!  I appreciate you and your talents and abilities.  I wish I could know you better.  I wish you would take time to get to know me. I wish you wanted to know me better.  Because, I am great!

If you want to read more about Investing My Faith in Myself, Click Here:

https://mizmeliz.com/2012/09/16/investing-my-faith-in-myself/

To see the poem, “I am Great” Click Here: https://mizmeliz.com/2012/02/16/i-am-great/

This is my truth.  Considering my truth, I was reminded of a poem given to me by a friend years ago.  He told me his mother gave it to him when he came out. 
 
In Latin, Desiderata means, “Things desired that are essential”. . .
 
Desiderata— written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s —
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all it’s sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

“Keep Peace in Your Soul”

There is more to me than meets the eye.

 
 http://www.ronnadetrick.com/
http://ayearwithmyself.com/about-the-program/
http://mibizevents.com