Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

Change: It’s in the Air

"Onward and Upward" photo by Melissa Reyes Copyright 2012 http://mizmeliz.com

Change

Change is in the air that I breathe.
It is in every single breath I take.
It is just like the scent of orange blossoms
 and night-blooming jasmine.
Change engulfs me as I breathe it in.
There is no escaping it.
It is in the air I breathe.
Change is now within.
~Melissa Reyes 3-14-13

This is about healing.

This is about healing and moving on after experiencing the loss of a loved one.  It is about love and joy and forgiveness.  It is about letting go and moving forward. This is about taking care of myself.  Healing myself. Forgiving myself for the sadness I feel.

 “As far as taking care of myself, I try to do it through love and kindness. I now take time to forgive myself for mistakes, for not getting everything done, for taking a walk instead of finishing up client work if I need to and all the other little things I used to feel guilty for on a daily basis. I remind myself that I don’t have to prove anything to anyone or myself. But, I can still promise to do my best and that’s enough.” ~Naomi Niles

A shift in the balance of my world is happening. 

My sister (who passed away in July 2011, 18 months ago) was married to a great man for 25 years. In fact she died on their anniversary. They were a very romantic couple and they have an amazing story. I am still very close to my brother-in-law. He is a dear friend, confidant, and brother in every sense. I trust him and care deeply for him. That is why I was happy when he told me he is getting remarried. Deep inside I am sad because I am still grieving the untimely death of my sister and sad over how things turned out and what could have been. That is the first shift that my heart bleeds over.

They call it a major life change.

Another bitter-sweet thing happening in my life is that my oldest son is graduating from high school and will be going away to college. Our home and family dynamics will be changing. One of my babies is about to fly off on his own and leave the nest. He is my most independent child. He has always been my little helper. I have every confidence that he will be fine on his own. He has become a fine young man and I am quite proud of him. But what will become of us? How will the two younger brothers get along? What will it be like with just the four of us. And in a few years, three? And then one day, just the two of us?  Empty Nest Syndrome is hitting me hard. My heart is shaken. My mind is mush. My emotions are running high.

I am experiencing a new set of feelings. It’s not like anything I have been through before. It is excitement and joy mixed with equal parts sorrow and fear. All of the emotions are wrestling together and it is impossible to see who is winning. Which emotion is getting pinned, which one will come out on top. Should I cry? If I do cry will it be tears of happiness or sorrow? Or, both?

I am coping with the loss I feel. I miss my sister, my parents, the way things used to be when the kids were small. My biggest worries then were if I was spoiling my kids and if I was spending enough time with my family. No, it’s not possible to spoil a child. And no, I could never have spent enough time with my family. I wish I had some of those days back. Just one more Christmas or Easter. One more birthday. It’s so hard to move on and be happy. It is necessary. I know it is. I need to keep moving forward. I need to be happy about these changes. Because the people who are experiencing the change are doing the right things and they are moving on and they deserve to be happy.

“Challenges will continue to come. It is my choice to look for the joy or to let my spirit sink back into grief.  I choose joy.” ~Donna Thomas, Author

I choose to be happy, too!  I know it is a choice. I can get through it holding on to the past, gripping on tightly to the memories, dragging my feet trying desperately to not let go of the past because it was good and I loved it so much. Or, I can keep those memories safely in my heart where they can thrive inside of me, where I can embrace them joyfully as needed, and share the stories with my children and theirs someday of the remarkable and lovable family I have. I can skip happily forward, onward, and upward to better and more triumphant times.

"Onward and Upward" photo by Melissa Reyes Copyright 2012 http://mizmeliz.com

“For everything there is a season. . . a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep; and a time to laugh; a time to mourn; and a time to dance. . . ” ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

I want my family to look at me and see a gracious, graceful, peaceful woman who has been touched by love and who shines joyfully. I do not want pity nor do I want a cloud of sorrow over me because I have lost my loved ones.  I live a blessed life. I was blessed to have amazing parents who loved me and a sister who inspired me. I am blessed to have a wonderful marriage and that my husband is my best friend. I am blessed to have great kids who make me proud.

These things will never ever change.

Love never dies.
People live forever in our heart.
Change is inevitable.
Nothing is insurmountable.
I can do this!

It’s time to shine!

If you are suffering from the loss of a loved one, a major break up, or you live with someone whose parent or sibling has passed away, you might benefit from reading more about the Stages of Grief.  See my post: When Grief Revisits Me and Good Grief: 8 Stages of Grief.

Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

Letting Go for a Fresh Start

Letting Go for a Fresh Start

Let go of past hurts. Put it behind you. Forgive. Try and forget. It’s difficult because the wounds are fresh. I learned recently to think of the person you are trying to forgive as a child and then consider how or why they hurt you. If their inner child could have been responsible, if it is really them and not you, then forgive that kid. Let it go. You are all grown up now. You can do it. You are better than this. Start fresh today. Make it great!

Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

Merry Christmas! I love you!

Merry Christmas!

I am filled with love today and my eyes are still stinging from the tears I shed last night.  I went to see Les  Misérables with my husband and sons on Christmas Eve.  It was wonderful!  I cried throughout the movie because I found the music and acting to be so powerful with emotion, it moved me.  The story of Jean Valjean is one of hope and unconditional love and forgiveness.  I was looking forward to this reminder which was perfectly timed to arrive on Christmas Eve.  No matter how bad things get (and they got very very bad for Jean Valjean!) we can always get through it if we don’t give up faith.  That can be faith in God, in love, in friendship, or simply in the belief that things can get better tomorrow.  Just live one more day.  The best message of Christmas time (the season of love and hope that you honor) that I can think of is to believe.  Believe in yourself.  Believe in your heart and your capacity for love.  As Victor Hugo wrote, “To love another is to see the face of God.”  To truly love someone is the most graceful thing we can do.  If we give love to another our heart is filled with joy and compassion.

I love you!

I love the magic of Christmas and the joy it brings to all people.  Young and old, people of all faiths wish each other good tidings at this time.  The spirit of a giving heart is personified in Santa Claus.  I love that spirit of giving.  I am filled with love today, not because of what I have or what I want, but because of what I am able to give.  Jean Valjean didn’t have a wife, or children of his own.  He didn’t have anything for much of his life, and what he did have was borrowed, stolen, or given to him when he denied his own self.  When he had the chance to love another person is when he was given the true gift of hope.

Believe

Hope

Live

Love

Let joy fill your heart!

Merry Christmas!  I love you!

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