Everything Miz Meliz, I Love My LIfe

Turning a Page and Facing Some Changes

It’s time for me to make a change on Miz Meliz – the blog and in my life.  It’s something I have been planning for a while and I am quite excited about it.  I woke up from a nice deep sleep thinking about one of my all time favorite songs from David Bowie and I knew that today is the day to share what is going on.

Changes

Oh, yeah
Mmm

Still don’t know what I was waitin’ for
And my time was runnin’ wild
A million dead end streets and
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse of
How the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
Mmm, yeah

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re goin’ through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Where’s your shame?
You’ve left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinatin’ me
Ah, changes are takin’
The pace I’m goin’ through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n’ rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time
Read more: David Bowie – Changes Lyrics | MetroLyrics

It may just seem like a new background and color scheme to you when you see the new website.  Other than that not much will look different at first when you see it.  And that’s good.  But there are some major changes.  The new site is going to be everything Miz Meliz iz (sorry couldn’t resist!) and more.

One exciting feature that is in the works is a new page where you will be able to schedule an appointment or book sessions with me for coaching.  Soon, there will also be a place to sign up for workshops that I am offering. Of course there will be a page where you can learn more about my book that is due to be released in October.  And that is the BIG news!  The book.  My first book to be published is almost ready.  Correction, I am almost ready to publish it!  The words have been written and ready to go for awhile.  I will release it to you in a few weeks.  I hope you like it!

Please let me know in the comments if you will be willing to buy my book, “This is the Sound of My Soul.”  I would like to start a list to get an idea of what to expect.  I’ve been wanting to put this “out there” for a while.  There are so many options and price points and decisions I need to make.  Here is what I am thinking . . . if you like entertainment you might pay $12 to see a movie.  If you like to drink reasonably good coffee, you might pay $4.50 for a latte.  Could we split the difference and price the book (approximately 135 pages of reasonably good entertaining prose of my perspective on life, roughly four and a half hours of reading) at $8.99?

Let me know. I greatly appreciate your input!

As the sun sets on this chapter of my life, I look to the horizon for a glimpse of inspiration.
As the sun sets on this chapter of my life, I look to the horizon for a glimpse of inspiration.

Moving on. Changes are happening!  Not just the new website (same url by the way, but new host so it will be my own real estate on the internet.)  Not just the book release.  Not just the coaching and workshops.  My life is changing in a big way.  My son, is moving in a few days.  He is going away to college.  This marks a big milestone in the life of my family.  It is monumental.  It is exciting.  I am proud beyond words.  My heart is singing with joy!  It does not feel like the emptiness I thought it would be. (Wow, I just realized how I timed all these new things to start in my life with this big change, positive changes and moving forward, me thinks.) It feels like my heart is expanding.

Our family is growing, learning, moving forward.  These are good changes.  I am fully prepared and ready to embrace these changes.  I believe my son is more than ready and capable.  This makes me oh so happy!

So I will turn and face the strange changes.

Time may change me.

But I can’t trace time.

Don’t forget.  Please tell me in the comments:

Would you buy my book online for $8.99 (paperback) or $3.99 (download) and would you like to be on a mailing list for further notices about the book and future publications by Melissa Reyes? (That’s me of course!) Yours truly, Miz Meliz

Everything Miz Meliz, I Love My LIfe

It’s a Nice Day to Start Again

Hey little sister, what have you done?
Hey little sister, who’s the only one?
Hey little sister, who’s your superman?
Hey little sister, who’s the one you want?
Hey little sister, shotgun

It’s a nice day to start again
It’s a nice day for a white wedding
It’s a nice day to start again

Hey little sister, who is it you’re with?
Hey little sister, what’s your vice or wish?
Hey little sister, shotgun, oh yeah
Hey little sister, who’s your superman?
Hey little sister, shotgun

It’s a nice day to start again
It’s a nice day for a white wedding
It’s a nice day to start again

“Pick it up!”
Take me back home, yeah

Hey little sister, what have you done?
Hey little sister, who’s the only one?
I’ve been away for so long
I’ve been away for so long
I let you go for so long

It’s a nice day to start again
It’s a nice day for a white wedding
It’s a nice day to start again

There is nothing fair in this world
There is nothing safe in this world
And there’s nothing sure in this world
And there’s nothing pure in this world
Look for something left in this world

Start again
It’s a nice day for a white wedding
It’s a nice day to start again
It’s a nice day to start again
It’s a nice day to start again

Songwriter
BILLY IDOL

Read more: Billy Idol – White Wedding Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Going over the edge?
Going over the edge?

That part about nothing being fair, safe, sure, or pure in this world really gets me.  It leaves me feeling empty.  Then he says, look for something that is left in this world.  As the song goes, when I feel completely depleted and defeated like there is nothing worth fighting for, I find something that I love,  a new day begins and I can start again.

It’s a nice day to start again!

Lately I have been getting ahead of myself in a lot of ways.  I have been wanting to have now what is just beyond my reach. I have been wishing I can get there without doing all the work.  I realized something.  I am not in a hurry.  I have the ability to slow myself down, do things right and make the future better.  I have a lot of ground work to lay.  The projects I have in the works are big.  Yes, I want to jump ahead and get the party started!  But I need to chill and get the work done in the right time first.  It’s going to be the best party ever!

Living in the moment means loving the moment, cherishing it, embracing it, feeling it.  That doesn’t mean I don’t have to plan for the future or that I don’t have to learn from the past. It’s the moment when I ask myself, what is my vice or wish?  I need to make a choice here.  Will it be happiness, joy, bliss? Will it be good, clean, honest? Will it be about me or someone else or someone I used to be or someone I want to be? Decisions, decisions.

Pick something and try it.  That’s the best we can do.  Success is in the trying.  We can always try again. And it is a nice day to start again!

Everything Miz Meliz, I Love My LIfe

Freedom: Be Glad for What You’ve Got

These are the lyrics to the song, “Free” by Prince from the album “1999” which I discovered and loved sometime in the mid 1980’s:

Don’t sleep, ’til sunrise, listen to the falling rain
Don’t worry, ’bout tomorrow, don’t worry ’bout your pain
Don’t cry, unless you’re happy, don’t smile unless you’re blue
Never let that lonely monster take control of you

Be glad that you are free, free to change your mind
Free to go ‘most anywhere, anytime
Glad that you are free, there’s many a man who’s not
Be glad for what you had baby, what you’ve got
Be glad for what you’ve got

I know my heart is beating, my drummer tells me so
If you take your life for granted, your beating heart will go
So don’t sleep until you’re guilty, ’cause sinners all are we
There’s others doing far worse than us, so be glad that you are free

Be glad that you are free, free to change your mind
Free to go ‘most anywhere, anytime
Be glad that you are free there’s many a man who’s not
Be glad for what you had baby, what you’ve got
Be glad for what you’ve got

Soldiers are a marching, writing brand new laws
Will we all fight together, for the most important cause
Will we all fight, for the right to be free

Be glad that you are free, free to change your mind
Free to go ‘most anywhere, anytime
Be glad that you are free there’s many a man who’s not
Be glad for what you had baby, what you’ve got
Be glad for what you’ve got

~Prince Rogers Nelson

I have been thinking about what it feels like to be free lately.

This is about that feeling of freedom.

My Jeep has been acting up and it has been pretty much out of commission since the beginning of August.  It chugs and lurches and doesn’t drive well in second gear.  My hubby has been working on it and has fixed the problem a few times.  But it seemed to be getting worse and worse.  One day the problem was so bad I barely made it home from work which is just a few miles away. I was fed up.  I said, “That’s it! I am not driving it anymore.”

So, there  It sat – in the drive way –  for a few weeks until we took it to the shop.  Then it was at the shop for a few weeks.  All the while, I got rides from my husband and sons and friends to and from work and anywhere else I wanted to go.  I “borrowed” my son’s car if I needed to drive somewhere.  I liked getting driven places.  In fact, I said that, “My chariot awaits” on a few occasions.  I liked being taken care of.  That is, until I lost my sense of freedom.

I started to feel dependent on my husband and sons and friends.  That was a little bothersome.  I knew it was temporary and it would be resolved so I didn’t pay too much attention to those feelings.  I began asking my husband if he knew when the Jeep would be fixed and when I could get it back.  I really didn’t need it since I had so many other transportation options and I couldn’t really afford to have a lot of work done on it.  It’s old and requires a lot of maintenance, but I love it.  I love having a Jeep for so many reasons.  After cursing it for weeks because of it not running well, I forgot how much I loved it. Until Wednesday,

On Wednesday (three days ago) my husband picked up the Jeep from the shop.  I did not know this until he pulled up in front of my office to pick me up.  There it was!  Oh my gosh!  I was so excited.  Seeing it through the window at work, I jumped up and said, “Hey, that’s my Jeep!”

The next morning I drove to the office myself.  I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be behind the wheel of my own car again!  My Jeep felt great and I wished, for a moment, I had a longer commute so I had more time to enjoy it.  It is still running rough and needs more tuning, but I was back in my ride!  (After a month!) I felt free again.  I forgot how good that felt.  I remembered what it was like to have that freedom for the first time as a teenager.  I could identify with my sons and their feeling of freedom having their own rides.  I felt a little guilty for infringing on that recently.  But then again, they depended on me for a long time to provide transportation to all of their activities, and this was just a month. That is how I got to thinking about how much we take freedom for granted.

There certainly are many types of freedom.

My friend and client, Ana Lydia had a freeing realization about constraint and risking her own personal values in her business this week.  She said, “I pressed my colleagues to “be brave” and value their skills, while I have been scared to call on late payments or call-out injustices. . . coming to terms with that realization felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders.”

A friend of mine posted this statement on her Facebook page yesterday and shared it with me:

“There is nothing you have thought…have done…that needs to be kept a secret. You were born to be free and we are not free when we carry the burden of secrets.”  ~Ali Kossack

In an effort to protect freedom in our country, this morning President Obama said “We cannot raise our children in a world where we will not follow through on the things we say, the accords we sign, the values that define us.”

I spent some time this afternoon visiting a very close friend of mine. She is laid up in bed, immobile for at least three weeks under doctor’s orders. She broke her leg recently and because she is paralyzed she didn’t know it was broken at first.  She is unable to sit in her chair, or drive her car until the broken bone heals.  She is one of the most independent women I know.  She has never let her situation stop her from doing all the things she wants to do.  Now she has temporarily lost the freedom that she enjoys.  I sat in her bed with her and I cried.

My tears are not for sadness, although I am often saddened.  My tears are not for grief, although I am often stricken with grief.  My tears are not for fear, although I am often hopelessly fearful.  These were not tears of joy, although I often cry tears of joy.  I believe these were the waterworks of tears of those who cannot or will not cry for injustice.  I cried the tears of pain for those who cannot feel pain.  I cried for the many wrongs that I carry deep in my heart.  I cried for the hope of freedom for those who have died for it unknowingly, unwillingly.  I cried for the simple feelings of freedom that I take for granted.

I am done crying for today.

My tears cleansed me.  Now I am free to carry on.

In most cases, the feeling of freedom comes from knowing you are doing the right things.  Freedom comes when we exercise our core values.

Freedom comes when we are glad for what we’ve got.

2013-04-05 07.41.12

Everything Miz Meliz

Write Something Now! #MizMeliz

photo by Melissa Reyes copyright 2013 http://mizmeliz.com
This is about as real as it gets!

I am surrounded by words and ideas

Stacks of volumes all around me

Books, notebooks, binders and paper

the words float above me and hover over

reading, readers, writing writers

A Reader’s Digest sits atop the pile

Yes,  The Reader’s Digest

it taunts me and beckons me

Read me it says

Write something I say back

Feed me I think

Digest me it teases

So many ideas

sparks about to ignite into flames of energy

living a life of their own

every moment begging to be recorded

every happening wanting to be shared

write me

write

share

love

now!

Everything Miz Meliz, Fazel Huts

A Battle of Wits Between Husband and Wife #fazelhut

I needed caffeine.  I woke up with a headache.  I was irritable.  My husband was going to the store to get some groceries, I asked him to bring me some Diet Coke.  When he got back from the store, he came in our room with a cup.

“Here is your Diet Coke.” He said handing me a plastic cup with soda, ice and a straw.

“That’s nice of you to bring it to me honey, thanks.” I said taking the cup from him.  Just as I was about to take a sip I looked in the cup.  “This looks funny, what is in it?” I asked.

He was already out of earshot.  I took a sip and it tasted fine.  I thought maybe it was a dirty cup.  That sounds gross and I was thinking it seemed like their was milk in the cup which would make it impossible to see when he poured it since the inside of the cup was white and since Diet Coke is foamy, he never would have noticed.  The drink looked a little murky to me.  I know he would never give me a dirty cup and I was already feeling badly that I even thought such a thing.  I was feeling ill and irritable anyway and I heard myself complaining . . .

“Honey, there is something wrong with this drink.”  He came back into the room.  I realized at that point what I must sound like to him.  I had been complaining all morning.  I decided to change my tune.

“Honey, did you put something in my drink?” I asked him coyly.

He said, “Nooo, why?”

“Look at this. . . it’s murky.”  Smiling, I asked him,  “Is this a clean cup?”

“Of course it is,” He answered.

“Is this how you are going to get rid of me?  Did you poison my drink?” I pushed.

He laughed.  “Of course not!”

I started giggling.

He sat down next to me to look at the drink.  “It’s fine” he said, “it’s just Diet Coke.”

He flashed me a smile.  He knew at this point I was teasing.  Surely he was relieved that the bitching had subsided.

“You drink it.” I told him, handing him the cup.

He said, “Sure, I will drink some.” He held the cup up to his mouth, holding the straw as if he was going to take a sip and he moved the straw to the side of his face and turned his head a bit so it looked like he was drinking it.  He started laughing hysterically.  I knew exactly what he was doing.  “Its’ fine, see.  Now you drink it.” He handed the cup back to me.

I took the cup.  I looked in it.  I knew it was fine and I had already drank some before he came back into the room, but it was fun to play this little game.  We have a long history of joking around about our ultimate demise.

I looked in the cup.  By this time all the foam had dissipated and it was clearly just Diet Coke.  I said, “No way! You didn’t drink it, I saw you move the straw. Take a sip so I can see you.” Giving the cup back to him once again laughing as I handed it back. I was thinking of the scene in The Princess Bride where The Man in Black (Westley) puts the Iocane powder into the wine and a battle of wits ensues between him and Vizzini.

He said, “Okay, okay,” and took two or three obvious gulps as I said, “From the cup this time, not the straw!”

“Hmmm . . . I guess it is okay then.  But, I am on to you!” I said when he gave the cup back to me. I was going to bring up the fact that I am aware that he might have built up a resistance to Iocane, but I was laughing too hard and my head hurt too much to get the words out.

“I am not trying to kill you.” He said as he left the room, still laughing.

I realize that we watch a lot of crime drama television.  Maybe too much!

Now that I think of it, he did sound maniacal as he was laughing.  I may have to be more careful for now on!

One of the best things about our marriage is our sense of humor.  The only reason I would ever accuse him of trying to “get rid of me” is because I fear that he will tire of me.  It stems from my insecurity. He is aware of this and feeds my need for reassurance.  We depend on each other for this give and take now and then.  We have always been able to laugh at ourselves as soon as we realize what is happening.  I am grateful for this part of our relationship and I try not to ever take it for granted.  It is a blessing.

photo credit Melissa Reyes copyright 2013 http://mizmeliz.com
He wouldn’t poison me! At least, I don’t think he would! #fazelhut
Copyright 2013 Melissa Reyes http://mizmeliz.com
Blog Venture, Everything Miz Meliz

Are Museums Fun? 5 Hot Spots I Visited this Summer in Los Angeles

I did not go out of town for a summer vacation this year, but I did have the chance to visit some of L.A.’s hottest destinations!  Here are some highlights of my “staycation adventures” . . .  5 Summer Hot Spots in Los Angeles:

Click on the name of each attraction to go directly to their website.

number 1The Getty Center, Los Angeles

I went to the Getty Center earlier this year for a Social Media Event.  On that day, my husband and I vowed to return and explore the amazing venue at length. My family remembered this when it came to making plans for Mother’s Day. It was a perfect idea. (Yes, it was a scorching hot day on Mother’s Day in L.A., thus the summer had officially begun for us!)photo credit Melissa Reyes copyright 2013 http://mizmeliz.com

The Getty Center is a great place to spend the day with the family, take in some local culture and have a nice meal.  We decided to join the Architectural Design Tour and the Garden Tour on this trip.  It was a lot of walking, but it gave a full scope of the history of the building of the Getty Center and the design of the grounds and gardens.  The same docent lead both tours.  She was quite knowledgeable and personable.

After going on both tours, we still had plenty of time to eat lunch at the cafe and visit some of the exhibits. All of my kids enjoyed the outing. They are teenagers, so I wasn’t expecting too much from them, but I found myself out of steam before they were! I have one son who isn’t into museums and reading as much, but he went along to be a good sport and spend time with the family.  I thought he wasn’t getting much out of it and would look back at it as torture, but recently he was able to recall terms that the docent explained to us in the tour.  I was so impressed that he was paying attention and retained that information even after a few months.  We put our youngest child in charge of taking pictures and that kept him busy and interested.  Our oldest is about to go to college and is studying architectural engineering – so this techie, artsy, place known for its innovative architecture was certainly the perfect destination for him!

See the mosaic gallery of pictures from my day at the Getty Center at the bottom of this post. 

number 2Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA)

I found out through my Blog Venture buddy, Mary of Along Comes Mary, that admission to LACMA is free on holiday Mondays.  We wanted to go together on Memorial Day, but since that didn’t work out my husband and I made a date of it.  I visited LACMA a few years ago and saw the Tim Burton Exhibit.  That was something I will never forget.  I was so impressed with Tim Burton’s early childhood drawings and how those characters ended up coming to life in some of my favorite movies.  I have talked about the experience so many times that my husband was intrigued.  Besides going to the Getty Center, we haven’t been to many local museums together.  It is something we love to do in other cities while on vacation – why not enjoy some of the best museums in the world that happen to be in our own area!

It turned out to be the perfect date.  On a holiday Monday, there was very little traffic and for the price of parking, we enjoyed a few hours at the museum looking at the established and long-term exhibits.  Since contemporary and modern art is usually very high-tech and scientific, it was right up my husband’s alley.  I think his favorite part was the huge elevator, but he enjoyed most of the rooms.  While I enjoy sitting and looking at paintings and sculptures or people watching, my hubby likes to read all of the information posted about each artifact and view every documentary on the screens.  He can go for hours taking in all of this information systematically.  I like to soak it all in and look at the things that attract me.

We vowed to return to LACMA again because there was much more than we could see in a few hours.  However, personally I would not have enjoyed being there for too much longer.  I would rather return another day.  I would definitely benefit from becoming a member there!

number 3California Science Center

Since we had such a great time at the Getty Center on Mother’s Day and LACMA on Memorial Day, we thought we would try another outing with the kids on Father’s Day.  We decided on the California Science Center because my husband had been wanting to see the Space Shuttle Endeavor since it arrived in L.A.

This was an amazing experience!  The California Science Center has some wonderful exhibits and is free all the time.  It is home to the IMAX Theater and  the Space Shuttle Experience.  Both require tickets in advance which you can get online.  I enjoyed looking at the Space Shuttle and it was particularly meaningful to me since it was Father’s Day and it brought back fond memories of my dad.  He worked in the aerospace industry and was involved in early contracts for the Space Shuttle.  It was his pride and joy to have had a part in American history and he would have loved to have seen that exhibit.  I know he was proud of us for going there.

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I am not as in to seeing science exhibits as much as I am art and architecture, so I bottomed out rather quickly at this one.  My son, who was just ‘along for the ride,’ and I hung out together in the gift shop and at the cafe while the others fully immersed themselves in the experience.  When my youngest got bored, the three of us went outside and waited near the butterfly garden.  It was a beautiful day and if I had realized that there was a lovely park there, I might have brought a picnic, a blanket and a football for the boys.

There is so much to do in Exposition Park, you can definitely make a day of it.  Adjacent to the California Science Center is the Natural History Museum. . . we may be back for the next holiday!

number 4Griffith Observatory

For my sister-in-law’s birthday my brother planned a lovely afternoon at Griffith Observatory.  I am still not sure if he was riding our coat-tails on the idea of visiting our local attractions or if it was purely coincidence.  Nonetheless, I was excited by the notion of visiting another favorite L.A. destination.

We met at the Merry-go-round at Griffith Park and devoured the luscious pies that my brother had brought in his ice chest.  There are lots of picnic tables and large grassy areas by the tennis courts.  There is a little snack bar where the kids bought drinks and popcorn.  The majestic antique Merry-go-round is a Los Angeles treasure and tickets to ride it are only a few bucks. Parking is free at Griffith Park and it is just a little drive around the mountain from the Merry-go-Round to the parking area for the observatory.

photo credit Melissa Reyes copyright 2013 http://mizmeliz.com
The Majestic Merry-go-round at Griffith Park

The Griffith Observatory has been renovated since I was last there and I was impressed with the newest additions.  I was also relieved that the old favorites still remain and can be shared with future generations.  There is so much to see and do at the Griffith Observatory.  We explored the telescopes and the science and space exhibits.  Along the outside perimeter are plenty of photo spots to take pictures of the Hollywood sign, the Santa Monica mountains, panoramic views of the city and the observatory building itself.

Inside there are two theaters, the newest being the Leonard Nimoy theater and the Samuel Oschin Planetarium. Admission to the observatory is free, but tickets for the planetarium shows are $3-$7 and must be purchased at the ticket counter at the observatory.  We saw a show at each of the theaters during our visit.  The free show that we saw at the Nimoy theater was fun (funny) and informative.

number 5The Getty Villa, Malibu

For my birthday I decided to take the family to the Getty Villa in Malibu.  Well, I suppose they took me – since it was my birthday! I was there once as a child and I only remember a few details.  The thing that impressed me the most was the feeling of being worlds away, as if I were transported through time and space to a special point in history.  The Getty Villa was closed for a long time and since they built the Getty Center, I did not know what happened to it.  It has been renovated and is simply breathtaking!  I still got that feeling that I was transported to a special place and it was even better than I remembered it!

The villa itself is a beautiful specimen of architecture and design.  It houses an enormous collection of antiquities, sculptures and artifacts from Ancient Greece and Rome.  Anyone interested in history, mythology, art, design, archaeology or anthropology will love this museum and educational center.

There is a special procedure to follow in order to gain entry to this iconic California landmark and I observed it being strictly followed.  Admission is free to the museum but reservations must be made in advance to park there.  The fee for parking is $15 per car and each person in the car must have a printed “timed entry” ticket.  The nice thing about this procedure is the ease in finding a parking space upon arrival.  Even though we went on a busy summer weekend afternoon, I did not have the feeling that is was crowded.

We explored all the exhibits and wandered the villa and the grounds in a few hours.  It was fun and beautiful.  There are lots (way more than I expected) and lots of nude statues, so be prepared if you have children with you or that makes you uncomfortable.

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Plan to have extra time if you like to take pictures, there are so many things to photograph including many of the artifacts.  I took pictures of everything, even the tiled flooring.  It was different in every room and I loved taking shots of it.  Can you imagine?  Centuries old art all around me and I am taking photos of the floor!  It was fun! I did get in trouble for trying to get a shot of the visiting exhibit from Sicily – that apparently is a big no-no.  But they allow you to photograph practically everything else.

The kids are a little burned out on the “museum” thing.  But my husband and I have found it to be the perfect date for us.  We plan on going to the Reagan Library next!

So, what do you think? Are museums fun?  Have you been to any of these places while visiting Los Angeles?  Which is your favorite? Do you have any suggestions for other adventures in the area?  

Disclosure:  I love sharing my experiences and happily opted to post this piece for fun.  I do not represent any of the venues nor was I asked to write about them.

Number photo credit:  Image credit: wikki / 123RF Stock Photo

 

 

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Everything Miz Meliz

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 AS A KINDHEARTED BLOGGER I PLEDGE TO:
  • create, inspire, and admire rather than compete with fellow bloggers
  • be understanding of each other– in the blogging community, as well as in the world
  • stay away from internet/blogging bullying
  • speak my opinion freely, while still being mindful of other’s feelings– be tactful.
  • make an effort–no matter how big or small the gesture, to spread kindness or joy to others
  • acknowledge that I will make mistakes, (I am only human) but remember to learn from them
  • know that at times I will post about the negative stuff in life, and maybe even some complaining (I am only human) but I will always follow-up with something happy/positive too.
  • believe that this world is a good place, filled with good people.

If you would like to take the Kindhearted Blogger Pledge, see Em Jay & Me’s Blog, it is awesome!

I have been contemplating acts of kindness and compassion and how they are received.  I have been going around and around with the thought that when someone acts with intentions of kindness and love, the recipient should be accepting even if they don’t want or feel they need that particular thing at that moment.

This thought process came to light out of my desire to help my friends and unfortunately, I overstepped.  My intentions were misunderstood as criticism.  I meant to be helpful and I offered guidance in a safe place that I believed was about supporting each other.  My ego was bruised because I didn’t want to hear, “I don’t need your help.  If I wanted your help, I would ask for it.”  I wanted to hear, “Thanks, I will consider that.” or at the very least, “I will consider it.” Or, at the very very least, nothing.

It turned out that I was called out publicly and the more I tried to express my opinion, the more I was hurting the person who didn’t want my help in the first place. I was sucked into the situation when I proceeded to prove my point rather than back off.  I realized too late that I was doing more harm than good.  This resulted in hurting the person who I intended to help.  I thought I was doing something nice, but my action ended up seeming to be an attack on her expertise.

The fact is, I wanted to help her because I really like and respect her. My ego was injured because I was shut down.  I found out that I am not someone who is trusted to give advice in this area.  In fact, this particular person may not be able to ever accept help from me.  She would probably never ask me for help.  She either does not want help at all, or she does not want it from me.  Either way, if I ever had her respect, I no longer do.

So, I reflected on acceptance and respect. I was hoping that I could make the point that sometimes the giver needs to give and honestly gives with love, without expecting anything in return.  Truthfully, I was still in the wrong because when I gave something that I thought would be helpful, I acted quickly and did not take the time to see if it was needed or wanted.

I apologized to the person and I hope that she will eventually forgive me.  I am thankful to have learned this lesson, but hope that she is not resentful that I learned it at her expense.  Unfortunately, she misread my intentions and I believe she took it as me pointing out flaws when I was in fact trying to point out her brilliance.

I still believe it is best for me to accept the kindness of others graciously.  I will always say, “Thank you, I appreciate your kindness.”  If they offer advice I will say, “Thanks, I will consider that.”  Even if I think the advice is not needed or unnecessary. I will remain open and lovingly accept anything a kindhearted person is willing to give me.  I will pay forward that loving attitude.  I will be more cautious in giving of myself in areas where I feel I can be helpful.  I will stop myself and ask, “Do you want my help?”

In all of my relationships, I vow to keep asking, “What do you need from me.  How can I help?”

Please share your thoughts with me in the comments.

Have you learned a valuable lesson through blogging or sharing your own story?  Tell me about it. . .

Read the post I was working on when this all came about, The Practice of Being Kindhearted.

If you want to find out more about Melissa Reyes and Life Coaching, check out http://mizbizevents.com