The Truth
The truth is I haven’t had a conversation with my doctor lately because I have been afraid to go and get negative results. Although I feel good, the same that I have felt for the past year, I don’t feel better. I feel guilty about that. I wanted to get better. I wanted to make positive changes and be better, healthier, and thinner by now. I hoped to be off the Metformin that I take for Diabetes. I had hoped to beat this. I am disappointed in myself. I feel like I am making myself this way by not taking the actions that I should be, could be taking. Every time I eat something that I know I shouldn’t be eating, it is like taking small amounts of poison. I feel like eventually, it will kill me, yet I keep consuming it. The imagery helps for a moment and then I think, but it’s not poison. It is food. Everyone else can eat it. It won’t kill me today. My inner conversation is a constant battle.
I need to have a conversation with my doctor. I need to take that step to get better. I need to get over the guilt and take action. Just taking my meds is not enough and I know it. It is time to get the blood tests, get the A1C results, face the music, and take charge. I am still afraid. But not knowing where I stand right now is worse.
Miz Meliz 
Please take care of yourself (I should talk though…) your friendship is very dear to me, and I don’t want to lose you!
I have enjoyed this conversation post. I also need to chat w/ my doc, but am hesitant since I am “not where I wanted to be”, but let’s both remember that our health allows us to do the things we want to, and the things we should not do. Let’s be our body’s best friend, starting RIGHT NOW, and celebrate tomorrow, next week and next year, being where we need to be. And we will feel better.
The candy apples ARE beautiful. 🙂
Thank you so much! I am glad that you enjoyed the post. We are fortunate to have able bodies and free will. Since my focus is on health this month, I am trying to have a positive approach and not be too hard on myself while being real with myself at the same time. I am ready to go forward! You might enjoy reading about how I plan to get started. https://mizmeliz.com/2012/10/31/limitless-potential-starting-with-saving-myself/