A Year With Myself, Everything Miz Meliz

Part 2: Extremely Long and Dangerously Accurate

Part 2:  Extremely Long and Dangerously Accurate  – the Detailed Description of my Personality Type

(mostly cut and pasted directly from humanmetrics and keirsey)

 It is Rather Ideal!

Idealists are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Stop!  That’s me!  I buy in to self help books, magazines, Oprah!   Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self — always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. So true! And they want to help others make the journey. I really do!  Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials. Wow! I did not read this until after I wrote Amazing Grace.  Very cool!

According to Keirsey, These are my “core” characteristics:

  • I am enthusiastic, I trust my intuition, yearn for romance, seek my true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
  • I pride myself on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
  • I tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and I focus on my personal journey and human potential.
  • I apparently make an intense mate, a nurturing parent, and an inspirational leader. I must say I am proud myself right now – I love all of these qualities!

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Umm, Can’t we all just get along?  Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. Life is full of possibilities!  I honestly believe there is a silver lining to every situation! This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the “not visible” or the “not yet” that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. This reminds me of my favorite book on self improvement:  The Four Agreements.  I’ll re-post the four agreements on my blog again soon.  They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. This came up recently at work when I was absolutely devastated when I was told that someone had complained about me being rude to them.  I was shocked!!  It truly pained me to think that someone would feel that way about me.  Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a “soulmate,” someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds. This is all very true about me.  My family and friends are so important to me.

Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.  Idealists need to be esteemed for their ability to help others, particularly emotional help. I have been called “the glue that holds the family together” – – this was the most empowering realization to me.

Even more than the other Idealists, Teachers have a natural talent for leading students or trainees toward learning, or as Idealists like to think of it, they are capable of calling forth each learner’s potentials. Okay, did you read the story of the boy and the flag?  It is in me – part of my personality, my inner core beliefs – to help in this way.  Teachers (around two percent of the population) are able – effortlessly, it seems, and almost endlessly-to dream up fascinating learning activities for their students to engage in. In some Teachers, this ability to fire the imagination can amount to a kind of genius which other types find hard to emulate. But perhaps their greatest strength lies in their belief in their students. Teachers look for the best in their students, and communicate clearly that each one has untold potential, and this confidence can inspire their students to grow and develop more than they ever thought possible. Maybe I should think about teaching again!  Wait, I really should go back to teaching!

In whatever field they choose, Teachers consider people their highest priority, and they instinctively communicate personal concern and a willingness to become involved. Warmly outgoing, and perhaps the most expressive of all the types, Teachers are remarkably good with language, especially when communicating in speech, face to face. And they do not hesitate to speak out and let their feelings be known. Bubbling with enthusiasm, Yes, that’s me! Teachers will voice their passions with dramatic flourish, and can, with practice, become charismatic public speakers. This verbal ability gives Teachers a good deal of influence in groups, and they are often asked to take a leadership role. Since high school, I have been told I was a leader. . . I wasn’t quite sure that I fit the bill.  I do!

Teachers like things settled and organized, and will schedule their work hours and social engagements well ahead of time — and they are absolutely trustworthy in honoring these commitments. Valuing as they do interpersonal cooperation and harmonious relations, Teachers are extraordinarily tolerant of others, are easy to get along with, and are usually popular wherever they are.  Hmm . . . interesting. I do have a problem with flaking out.  I don’t like to do it, but as things get crazy with the kids’ schedules I tend not to make any commitments if there is a chance I can’t come through.

Teachers are highly sensitive to others, which is to say their intuition tends to be well developed. Certainly their insight into themselves and others is unparalleled. Without a doubt, they know what is going on inside themselves, and they can read other people with uncanny accuracy. People always tell me they can talk to me about anything and I am the person people come to when they are in trouble.  I often find myself giving advice.  I am careful about this these days, because I don’t want to sound like a know it all. But I will always be open and honest if you ask me for my opinion.  Teachers also identify with others quite easily, and will actually find themselves picking up the characteristics, emotions, and beliefs of those around them. Because they slip almost unconsciously into other people’s skin in this way, Teachers feel closely connected with those around them, and thus show a sincere interest in the joys and problems of their employees, colleagues, students, clients, and loved ones. This explains why I feel like I am from New Mexico!  I say it is in my blood.  Actually I spent so much time around family from Albuquerque when I was a kid, that I “absorbed” the feeling of growing up there!

Since Idealists tend to work for a better future for all, if things keep going badly and they lose hope they become stressed. When Idealists experience great stress, they can have muscle or sensory problems. Yes.  This really happens!

The Teacher is likely to become stressed if they experience an absence of trust and too much pressure to conform. They also dislike interpersonal conflict. If this happens, they may become excessively critical, which is antithetical to their normal positive self. One of the signs that the Teacher is in high stress is muscle tics, restless legs or cramps. To recover, this normally social type must be left alone. Solitude and journal writing can help them get back to normal. Also getting out of the current arena of conflict and taking on a new project can restore their sense of self. This is incredibly accurate and it is exactly what I do to handle it.

Idealist women tend to be very romantic. They love to give and receive tokens of affection, such as an original poem, a hand carved box, or an item which reminds them of some shared experience. Men often appreciate their compassion and empathy along with their belief in others. When dating, they hope they’ll get to know each other through deep conversation. Now I am weirded out!  How does answering some questions about my habits reveal this about me?  I am feeling less unique and more predictable.  It’s all so true!

This is how I want to be shown love:

  • Listen to me without trying to solve my problems. Periodically summarize, synthesize, and restate so it is clear you are listening intelligently
  • Express your belief that I can come up with good answers to problems but be prepared to provide shelter when the fallout gets unbearable
  • Praise me for my insights into people and my ability to help people
  • Protect me from emotional devastation
  • Recognize that I have an irresistibly beautiful soul

Idealist women love to receive personalized gifts which hold great symbolism for both parties. These items can be as small as a four leafed clover found in the yard to symbolize a wishing of luck. The more specific the items are to the unique relationship of the couple, the happier she will be. Idealist women love the idea that their partner was thinking about them. Other things which heighten a sense of intimacy are sharing a laugh in public over a private joke and communicating in a private language.  Hey, Honey, remember keychains and the sticky frog?  Grape ape?

Idealists give a lot to romantic relationships but they are also high maintenance. I always say I don’t know how my husband knows everything about me and still wants to be with me!  He deserves an award for putting up with me! If you have an Idealist partner, you can expect to spend a fair amount of time talking and even more listening. Idealists are very sensitive to what other people think, especially their loved ones. Providing support and a belief in them is far more important than giving them the “right” answer, which may not even be the best thing for them to do. Luckily Lito has gotten very good at taking care of me!

The one thing that can destroy a relationship with an Idealist is a values conflict. Idealists value relationships, but they also have certain uncompromising values. If a partner seems to be violating those values, the Idealist will stretch and stretch to try to accommodate the partner. However, if an acceptable solution is not reached, the Idealist will eventually snap. At this point, the relationship is usually beyond any possible repair. Keep an open line of communication with your Idealist partner to avoid this kind of outcome.  Whoa!  Our biggest conflicts are always a matter of principle.

The thing Idealists most long for is intimacy. Couples can have intimacy in body, mind, and soul. Idealists want all three but are most attracted by intimacy of souls. They love to share their future plans or dreams with their partner, and they love to listen to their partner’s desires. It’s usually just fine if these dreams are not at all the same as long as they don’t contradict each other in any important way. Sharing secrets about the innermost you is a great way to encourage intimacy of all three varieties. Ain’t love grand?

If you are having problems, do not keep that information from your partner. You may think you don’t want to burden them, but they will know that something is upsetting you. Idealists feel very hurt if a loved one doesn’t trust them enough to let them know what is going on. I’m repeating that sentence. . . Idealists feel very hurt if a loved one doesn’t trust them enough to let them know what is going on. Although Idealists can often seem very fragile and likely to break at the slightest touch, but when true adversity hits, they generally rise to the occasion and become a stout oak of support.  I can stay cool in times of trouble, earthquakes, accidents, injuries. . . I’m your rock!

The bottom line with an Idealist is to give them emotional support. Nurture your mate and you will probably get an intensely loyal and totally devoted partner.  Oh yeah!

If your valentine is an Idealist, you are likely to need to do a lot of work. Most Idealists are very romantic and enjoy the romantic feel of Valentine’s Day. While traditional gifts can keep you out of the dog house, you will need to be a bit more creative to really capture their loving feelings. Idealists often like things specially made for them, such as a hand made card, decorated clothing (children’s handprints.) Another thing that is often a big hit is a coupon book. The coupons can be for things like a back rub, doing the dishes, movie night, and so on. The cornier the coupons are, the better (“One coupon for a 15 minute back (and maybe lower ;-)) rub from your devoted slave”). Ha, ha!  I hate to admit this is true.  I still wouldn’t mind chocolates and roses, but as long as you do something for me, I will be happy!

Idealist parents are generally the best of all parents at finding and encouraging their children’s unique abilities. While many parents are good at encouraging their children, Idealists are especially gifted in figuring out what to nurture and encourage. They are also the most likely to be able to ‘read’ their children’s minds and have a good idea of what is going on inside each of their children. This can lead to trouble since they will at times ‘read’ incorrectly and then react based on what they think is happening. I am sure my kids have experienced this more than once! This can be avoided by talking to the child to confirm or modify an intuition before acting on it. A person fortunate enough to be brought up in a mature Idealist’s home generally has a strong sense of who they really are, a validation of themselves and their dreams, and an emotional sensitivity to others. Boo-ya!!

Pay attention boys! Here are some tips on how to communicate effectively with your Idealist parent. Avoid values conflicts. Try to fit what you are wanting or needing in terms of your parent’s values. If you fight with them on their values, you’ll lose the battle and the war. Remember, they have had a lot more time than you have to develop their beliefs. They have good reasons for their values (maybe some bad ones too). Find and respect those reasons. Thank you. J

The thing that makes an Idealist parent the happiest is when their children open up and talk to them about their most important beliefs, ideas, dreams, values, etc. Sharing intimately with your parent is the easiest way to communicate effectively with them. You can then ask for almost anything and get it, especially if you can show how what you are asking for will cause you to develop as a person.  Oh, there you go!!  You had me at hello!


Well, there you have it.  Now you know everything about me!  Now, try taking the test yourself.  Let me know what your personality type is and what you think of the descriptions.  I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I did!




2 thoughts on “Part 2: Extremely Long and Dangerously Accurate”

  1. In spite of the fact (or maybe because of it) that I am an INFP, I found that we have a lot in common. I’m sure it is the shared Intuitive and Feeling aspects of our personalities. I like how you interjected your comments into this. Thanks for sharing with us.

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