Ronna Detrick says, “Self-love is something we hear about all the time. And we feel pressure to do it—all the time, perfectly, proficiently. But pressure is not consistent with self-love, whether self- or other-imposed. Rather, it comes through grace—and permission, time and patience.”
“Love is patient, love is kind… It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (from 1 Corinthians 13).
As Ronna puts it, “These are the nourishment and sustenance of ever-growing self-acceptance and self-love; of telling and living your truth.”
These unedited, uncensored words and feelings are my truth:
I will take time to practice grace. I give myself the permission to live my truth. I give myself the time. I have all the time in the world. I will be patient with myself.
If I extended myself endless patience and kindness, I would feel calm and totally free. I could do no wrong! There would be no clock timing me. No deadlines. No worries or concerns.
I would never ask myself, “Am I doing the right thing?” or “Do I even know what I am talking about?” I would never be hard on myself or feel badly about what I am doing or not doing.
It wouldn’t bother me that the dishes and laundry pile up. I wouldn’t stress about how the bills are going to get paid. Or, if I need to exercise more or watch my diet.
I don’t know if I could handle just gliding through life that way! Would it seem like I had no cares at all? No, because I do care. Caring about these things makes me me!
Endless patience. That means no limits and no constraints. Just time. All the time in the world. All the “eventuallys” would slip away and become “whens” rather than “if I evers”.
Endless patience. That means having faith that it will be. Just knowing it will be. Trusting myself that it will be.
And Kindness. Instead of putting restrictions on myself and feeling bad and guilty, I would just be kind, understanding and loving to myself.
It really boils down having faith in myself and trusting that I am responsible and I will be what I need to be and do what I need to do when it counts.
If I were to let go of my internal record-keeping, the laundry list of all that I’ve done wrong, and all the places in which I feel inferior, sub-par, or less-than, I would feel happy with the way I am.
I like myself. I honestly do like myself and I think I am great! I am great!
If I could let go of the feeling that I need everyone to agree with me, I would breathe easier and be happy. If I could stop harping on past mistakes and just keep on keeping on, rise above the misperceptions and not take things personally, learn from the errors and make adjustments and absorb the rest, I could breathe freely and rest peacefully.
If I were to be ever-so still and listen for my own internal voice, the one that existed before the irritating ones took over, I would hear these words:
You are who you are Melissa. You are beautiful and kind. You care about others. You love your family. You are smart and talented. You make things happen. You are special and sweet. All that matters is that you remain true to yourself. Take care of yourself. Enrich your spirit and feed your soul. Live all the moments of your life. Be. Do. Love. Lift yourself up. Stay strong in the knowing.
If I were to do whatever I wanted, whatever I felt—no ramifications or risks —I would stop working. I would make my home beautiful. I would walk. I would write. I would travel. I would be with my loved ones. I would have parties. I would shop. I would have fun. I would laugh more. I would drive. I would eat out. I would wear comfortable clothes. I would sleep in. I would stay up late. I would drink and smoke. I would get better at Scrabble. I would go to the beach.
If I could say anything I wanted, whatever I felt – no ramifications or risks – I do not know if I would say anything. I don’t feel the need to explain or justify. I just want to be free to express myself and hope that I am understood. I want the world to know that I have good intentions. I want to be happy. I want others to be happy. I want to help them. I love the people around me.
I would say . . .I accept you. Please accept me the way I am. Please just ask me if you don’t understand me. Am I really that hard to understand? Am I hard to like?
If I could say anything, I would ask these questions. I would say, “Excuse me – but what is it about me that you don’t like?” “What don’t you get?”
“Because, I am just doing my thing here. I am just happy to be alive and I want to be a good person and survive another day. Is that okay with you?”
I would tell my boss and co-workers, “Put me to work. Use my talents. If I don’t do things right, tell me. If I need to get better, give me a chance.”
I would tell my friends, “If I hurt you in some way, please know it was unintentional and I honestly do not want to hurt you. I want to make you happy. I want to make you feel secure. You can trust me. You should know that I love you. I have nothing against you. I think you are amazing! I appreciate you and your talents and abilities. I wish I could know you better. I wish you would take time to get to know me. I wish you wanted to know me better. Because, I am great!”
If you want to read more about Investing My Faith in Myself, Click Here:my truth. Considering my truth, I was reminded of a poem given to me by a friend years ago. He told me his mother gave it to him when he came out. In Latin, Desiderata means, “Things desired that are essential”. . . — written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s —
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all it’s sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
“Keep Peace in Your Soul”http://www.ronnadetrick.com/ http://ayearwithmyself.com/about-the-program/ http://mibizevents.com