vision board

Define Your Style and Envision Your Life’s Goals

Posted on February 2nd, 2015 by & filed under Everything Miz Meliz, Valued by QBeats, Workshops and Webinars

Do you know what your core values are? What things are most important to you? What do you stand for? If you don’t think you know what your purpose in life is, join the club. Most of us don’t know. And if we think we know, how can we be so sure? Now is the time to find and define your own personal style – for your life, your blog, anything. (This post is valued by QBeats because I believe my work is valuable.) This is #2 of the 6 part series on “Getting Your Rear in Gear for the Year”

Reflect & Focus 2

Find and Define Your Own Personal Style by Creating a Vision of Your Future Life Using Your Core Values and True Desires

SoCal Lady Bloggers #Inspiredfor2015 Workshop photo by Melissa Dell Jan. 2015 used with permission

SoCal Lady Bloggers #Inspiredfor2015 Workshop (photo credit: MelissaDell.com)

Now is the time to find and define your own personal style – for your life, your blog, anything.

I have been writing for many years now about my struggles with finding and living out my true passions and realizing my purpose in life. Through my search, I have developed some practices that have really helped me to build my self-confidence and live a happier, more fulfilled life. As I travel on my journey I continue to grow and learn from all of my experiences. I discovered my favorite things to do are the things that I am good at doing. I have become a certified life coach, an author, and host to my own video broadcast show. I have done all these things by having a clear vision of who I want to be and knowing my core values. Over everything, I believe in myself. That is the key. If you believe in yourself, you can accomplish anything!

Do you know what your core values are? What things are most important to you? What do you stand for? If you don’t think you know what your purpose in life is, join the club. Most of us don’t know. And if we think we know, how can we be so sure?

I spent a lot of time working on discovering what my core values are, for my self, for my life, and for my relationships. It was worth the “self-work” because after doing the research I found that it is truly the root (or core) of everything that I want in life. Most importantly, it is inherant. I am not coming up with something new. I am simply (maybe not so simply) reaching deep inside of myself to rediscover who I am, who I was born to be, and what makes me happiest.

 

2013-10-19 11.49.23This is how it starts. Before you decide on a a focus, before you make a list of goals, before you can even consider a vision for your future – write down your core values. Make some lists. What types of things are important to you now? How about when you were growing up? What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you have any careers in mind? Did you think about family?  List what you wanted and cared about when you were young. Then go back to childhood. Look at your baby book. What things did you like to play with? What did you dream about doing? What made you happy?

If you are married, you can do this for your relationship as well. What does your relationship stand for? Did you write your own marriage vows? If you went with the traditional vows, do you remember them? Are they the structure, the foundation of your promise to each other. Have you upheld your vows? Change the vows to the values behind each one. Talk about it with your partner. If you aren’t married, consider what your relationship means to each of you. Do you have promises that you stick by? These are your relationship values.

Your core values are promises that you make to yourself. And the single most important one is your true core belief or desire. And, my friend, that is your purpose.

Know what makes you happy and do what you need to move you towards that thing.

The Best Feeling

If you are a list maker, journal writer, note taker like me, then you can look back and take stock in the things that have mattered to you most in life. Revisit and review your old goals. Write down the things that you still want in life. Write down what matters to you most now. Make a list of the things you still want to achieve. Are there new things? Think about the future. What do you want to accomplish in five years? How about 10 or 20 years from now? Where will you be then? How do you see yourself? What does it feel like?

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This is YOUR life.

Read this post from my friend at QuinnCreative: “Reading Isn’t Believing”

 

 

 

“What works for someone else might not work for me. And if it doesn’t match what I know to be true from my own life, it’s probably not true for me. My life is a big circle, and I invite a lot of people in. But it doesn’t mean I have to follow them around in circles.” ~Quinn McDonald

Make three lists:

  • This is what I want for me.
  • This is what I want for my blog.
  • This is what I want for my family.

Choose 5-8 main ideas or concepts that would make you happiest. Call them goals, wants, desires, values – whatever suits you. There are no right or wrong answers – this is YOUR life. Draw or find pictures that represent these ideals. Put them together on a large piece of paper, poster board or on your computer. I use Pinterest for mine. This is your Vision Board.

The concept here is, “If you see it, you will believe it, and it will happen.”

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The vision board helps us to define the goals we have for our lives. It is a visual aid that puts a picture in our mind of what we want to achieve. It is the same way you learned what made you happy when you were a child. You saw someone with what you wanted, they either were the person that influenced you like a nurse or a business man, a teacher or a gardener, or they had something that you liked. You pictured yourself with these things, as this person. Did any of it come true? Once you had the idea in your mind that you could have it, did you make it so? If not, why not? What can you do now to make your dreams come true? What have you learned that you won’t do?

You can draw a picture with your core values - or life affirmations like this.

You can draw a picture with your core values – or life affirmations like this.

Knowing our goals enables us to make the right decisions and stay on the right path in order to reach these goals. Once you determine the things that make you happiest and what you want for your life, that knowledge in and of itself makes you feel joyful.

Not too long ago, I was feeling a little blah. I had written and published my book which had been my life’s aspiration for so long. My kids were not needing me as much. Their dreams involved leaving home. I could only see boredom, debt, and fixing up my old house in my 10 year plan. I thought, once this is an empty nest, my life will be about wishing my kids had kids so I can relive that joyful time in my life.

I wanted more than that. Way more! I knew that. But I didn’t have a plan. My goals and dreams were starting to get outdated. I needed to update my vision. That’s when I put my board on Pinterest. I started to get excited about the things I could picture myself doing, “after the kids are grown.” And then the best part happened. My husband and I started talking about it and we realized that we wanted the same things. Not only that, but one of my lifelong dreams to live on the beach – which I never talked about because I know he doesn’t like the beach – was something that he had been thinking about. He told me about it when we were visiting my brother in Channel Islands Harbor.

We had gone for a walk on the beach nearby and I told my hubby that the rental prices in that area were actually in our price range, and if only he didn’t hate the beach so much, it would be cool to stay there one summer. He said, “You know what, I could live here.”

I will never forget those words. He could? He felt like the area was conveniently located to the things that made him happiest, and as long as he had a comfortable home with me, he didn’t care where we were. So long as I promised to never make him camp in a tent on the sand ever again, he could totally go for moving to the beach. Deal!

Now we both had something fantastic to look forward to. We could start planning and making decisions based on what we want the end goal to be. Everything changed from that moment on. It was our silver lining. Our prize. We have something to look forward to that we are equally invested in besides being grandparents. And this thing we can make happen in our own time. Now I understand why most people move to a new home when they retire. My parents did it. It was their dream home. Now, I have mine. I see it in my future. I believe it. I will make it so.

We do not need the vision board in our faces all the time. We do not need to keep reminding ourselves what the goals are. We will achieve them by simply putting them out of focus, thus we stay directed even if we can’t see the goal directly in front of us. We know where we are going. How can I forget my dreams? If something comes up that doesn’t fit into the plan to get where I want to go, I will think hard about taking that direction. When something comes up that can help me achieve my goal, I am more apt to make a decision to go for it. Because I know. It is that simple. I know where I am going and what I want for my future. I have a clear vision. My vision board is my guide. It is my travel triptik or “lifetik” to my future. I will surely enjoy the journey in the meantime!

This is an example of a basic vision board that has the main areas of one's life.

This is an example of a basic vision board that has the main areas of one’s life.

 

 Do you have a vision board?

Did this help you to find and define your core values, your style, and/or your life’s vision?

Do you have any questions or suggestions about this course? Please comment. 

Read More about Vision Statements and Vision Boards.

 Next Week: Mind Mapping! How can using a brainstorm technique like a mind map help to reach goals. I will show you how I use this valuable tool. #Inspiredfor2015

 

I Can See Clearly Now

Posted on March 11th, 2012 by & filed under A Year With Myself, Everything Miz Meliz

This blog post, originally published on March 11, 2012 is in my book, This is the Sound of My Soul in a section called Gaining Clarity on page 130.

Thank you for coming to this link. I hope you enjoy reading my thoughts on the empowering freedom having a vision statement and vision board has given me.

As a special treat, if you haven’t noticed the note on my blog’s side bar – Firmoo.com has offered FIVE of my readers a great discount on frames. So, get a new pair of glasses and see clearly. There is a lot of beautiful smiles happening all around you since you decided to be positive and take control of your life.

Now that you have a great VISION – see it CLEARLY

Here is a special offer from Firmoo.com: Use this discount code for 15% off on frames: MIZMELIZBLOGS4 – Limited time only, restrictions apply, single use per purchase, this code is only good for five users, so act fast. Offer expires on Feb. 18, 2015

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Recently I noticed my vision had declined. I was getting headaches with or without my glasses. At first I attributed this to the fact that I was reading more and I was either looking at a computer screen or my cell phone practically non-stop. The eyestrain was really getting to me and I realized it was time for a stronger prescription. I tried using reading glasses until I could get an appointment to see my optometrist. But that only helped with the reading. My distance vision was worse as well. I wear bifocals because I have four different perspectives. It’s ironic because I always say I look at things from all angles!

After seeing my eye doctor and finding out that I did need stronger lenses, I had to go a week without my glasses. I used the reading glasses, but I was troubled that I couldn’t see well at all. Once confirmed by the doctor, I felt as though I had lost an ability that I relied on and it felt inadequate to me. Everything seemed out of place. I couldn’t wait to get my new glasses!

Here is a picture of me in my "non-glare" Firmoo.com glasses

Here is a picture of me in my “non-glare” Firmoo.com glasses

When I finally did get them and put them on for the first time, I was so excited! Everything seemed bigger and brighter! I was amazed at the difference. How did I function that way for so long? Why did I put myself through that? The solution was so simple. It was literally right before my very eyes. Having a vision is quite literally like seeing with clarity. It is a bigger and brighter view of the future.

My life’s vision is to live freely, enjoying the special moments that mean the most to me and to see my children, husband, family and friends living their lives to their full potential, happily and peacefully. To live a successful life is to realize one’s hopes and dreams. It is my hope to live a long and healthy life, peacefully and joyfully, and inspiring others to do the same.

Well, that sounds so nice doesn’t it? All packaged up and tied with a pretty satin bow. But that is what I do. It is what I want. But how do I get there? What specifically does it mean? What tangible and concrete things do I see when I look ahead at how I want my life to be? What do I see myself accomplishing in my lifetime, what do I see myself achieving, what do I aim to do with my life? (Yes, I hear Twisted Sister in my head, too!)

If it is about what I feel and what my heart needs to be fulfilled, then the above vision statement sums it up. I can and will strive for peace and joy because I honestly believe that is what will satisfy me and sustain me for the rest of my life. But if you ask my brain what do I envision, I have goals and things that I want as well. There are things that I would like to “get out of life.” I have made a vision board for those things. I believe that if I see those things and put it “out there” then they will happen. I will do what needs to be done to obtain them. I will always be working towards those dreams to make them a reality.

2013-08-18 14.31.22There are many things that I have wanted in life that I have already achieved. I used to make lists and set goals for the things I wanted. My goals were like many young Americans; buy a car, go to college, have a career, get married, buy a home, have children. I also wanted to travel, go to concerts and plays, have friends and entertain. When my children were young, I hoped to be able to send them to a private school like the one I attended and I wanted them to be active, involved and for them to have a relationship with their grandparents I made those things happen. All of it. My husband and I shared those dreams and together we worked towards them and achieved them.

In my late thirties and early forties, I went through a period of “now what?” I felt this way especially after both of my parents passed away. A part of me always worked towards those goals to gain their approval, to please them, and for them to be proud of me. After they passed away, I realized that I only have myself to please. To do that I needed to build my self-confidence, my self-esteem, and gain a sense of self-pride. I shifted my focus to my husband and children. Not only in getting their approval and praise for the things I wanted to accomplish myself, but primarily to help them achieve their goals and to help them enjoy their lives with grace and happiness. This became my purpose. This is where I believe I am meant to be. This is what I love most about my life right now.

To me, getting the most out of life means to accept all things as they are and make the most out of whatever life deals you. Knowing that I cannot control everything (I know, shocking isn’t it?) I must accept the things that “happen to me.” But that doesn’t mean sitting around waiting for the next thing to happen. Good or bad, I know I will deal with it. My experience tells me that. I must work to make some things happen. Just hoping and dreaming is not enough. This is where having a clear vision comes into play. Envisioning myself doing the things that I am passionate about, whether that means achieving certain goals or enjoying the experiences that life has to offer, is like having the tools I need to navigate through life. Having a vision is like having a gauge, compass and a map. (And the right glasses, of course!) Am I on the right track? Am I doing enough? What more can I do? What direction should I choose?

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I love the feeling of flying, of freedom, of being light-hearted and exuberant. Nothing feels better than gliding along happily. At some point I will need to land. I must have a firm foundation on which to grasp when I do come in for a landing. That is when having a map comes in handy!

A Clear Day

You Can Do It If You Can See It

So far in completing the journal prompts from A Year with Myself I have explored and identified my values, my strengths, my passion, my personality type, and what makes me different and authentic. All that inner work has prepared me for creating a vision for my life. Having a vision is important to me. Having a vision is synonymous with having clarity about the rest of my life and what I want to do with it.

“Aiming for a target you can see is wiser than taking blind shots into a pitch-black terrain. Hence, you can do it if you can see it!” ~C.A. Kobu

By creating my vision, I hope to be not only inspired but also empowered because vision means intent. And intent is quite powerful in making our dreams come true.

“Vision, the way I see it, is the ability or capacity to apprehend what you really want and believe you can do. After all, if you can envision it, on some level you must believe it’s possible, right?” “You’re the only one who can fulfill it, after all, and it can’t play out without you. You can’t miss it or mess it up. You can only unfold it choice by choice, reiterating as necessary, and staying in the moment with it.” ~Abby Kerr

C.A. Kobu suggests thinking about what you would do If you had only 37 days to live as in Patti Digh’s book Life Is a Verb: 37 Days to Wake Up, Be Mindful, and Live Intentionally.

If I had 37 days left to live, what would I do?

  1. plan a party and celebrate with all my family and friends
  2. go to the beach
  3. see as many sunsets and sunrises as possible
  4. go for long drives
  5. not wear a bra
  6. eat my favorite foods – Numero Uno pizza, fresh Maine lobster, red chile and sopapillas, chocolate mousse pie, cheesecake, ice cream, bacon, cheese blintzes with strawberry preserves, pancake sandwich with eggs over easy, bacon and maple syrup, steamed artichokes with mayo
  7. drink a lot of alcohol
  8. write letters to my boys
  9. finish a scrap book for each of my boys
  10. visit New York City
  11. go sailing
  12. make love like there is no tomorrow
  13. make love outdoors
  14. go barefoot
  15. post all my pictures online
  16. keep the kids out of school
  17. eat out and not cook, no laundry or cleaning
  18. read my poetry at an open mic night
  19. smoke indoors
  20. call all my friends and tell them I love them
  21. give away my things – pictures and jewelry and anything I have that anyone wants or needs
  22. camp by a lake
  23. eat ice cream for breakfast and cereal for dessert
  24. rent a convertible sports car
  25. listen to my favorite music loud all day
  26. sing whenever I feel like it
  27. watch my husband and kids perform their music
  28. watch my kids play sports
  29. do anything my kids and husband want to do like race go carts or sky diving
  30. grant wishes – even if it means cooking my family’s favorite meals
  31. get a puppy
  32. I won’t say no to anything, I will accept all invitations
  33. buy a really nice dress suit for my funeral
  34. shop for others and give gifts to people like it’s Christmas
  35. get a massage as often as possible
  36. have a mani-pedi every week
  37. get my hair done and have a facial at a swanky salon

I think all of the things on my list point to living my life freely and enjoying the things that come my way. As for the more concrete things that I hope to achieve, I have created a vision board. Providing I live longer than 37 days, which I fully intend to do, I think it will be amazing to see all of the things on my board become reality. I can’t wait for the day it becomes necessary to make a new one! (I’ll need another new pair of glasses by then for sure!)

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Note: I added photos and the notes at the top of this post on February 2, 2015.

I was not asked by Firmoo.com to put their discount offer on my blog, I do not represent them in any way. This was a gift for attendees for the Getting Your Rear in Gear Workshop. Read my Disclosure for details on why I share information about brands in my blog posts.

Read more about Vision Boards HERE.

A Vision Board – really?

Posted on February 23rd, 2012 by & filed under Everything Miz Meliz, The Happiness Project

This week is about progress.  Progress in our resolutions, but also progress in our journey to happiness.

Benjamin Franklin said:

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”

Here is an article from the June 2010 issue of O Magazine on how a vision board can change your life. Martha Beck says it’s way more than sticking pics of money or a Hawaiian beach on your mirror. You have to go deeper and let go mentally and emotionally.  http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Make-a-Vision-Board-Find-Your-Life-Ambition-Martha-Beck/1

“To really work, a vision board has to come not from your culture but from your primordial, nonsocial self—the genetically unique animal/angel that contains your innate preferences.” – Martha Beck

Here is a link to “My Vision Board” on Pinterest. . .

http://pinterest.com/mizbizevents/my-vision-board/

Here are some of the things that appeal to my animal/angel – the innate prefered destinations on my journey: