You are beautiful!

Posted on February 21st, 2012 by & filed under Somethin' Different

This is a lovely idea!



What’s Up? Nothing Much! A conversation with myself about progress

Posted on February 21st, 2012 by & filed under Everything Miz Meliz, The Happiness Project

Here we are in Week 3 of Vitality Month with Chronically Distracted’s Happiness Project! (I am getting caught up with the prompts.)

What’s Up?

Am I feeling vivacious? Yes, actually, I am!

Full of vim and vigor? Absolutely!  I have been feeling lively and enthusiastic lately. The energetic spirit has hold of me.  I have noticed myself singing in the shower. . . something I don’t recall doing for a very long time!  There is an active force within me that has been pushing me forward. . .I am going for walks and cooking and writing even when I don’t feel like it.  (Now, if I can only activate that enthusiastic spirit to do the bills, the laundry, and the dishes!)

At least I can say that I am working on it!! And the best part is, since I made my resolution to embrace experiences and live in the moment, I have not been hard on myself or my family for not doing the household chores.  I do it when it matters most and it makes a difference for all of us that we send more quality time together and have a lighthearted attitude about the daily grind.

Wouldn’t it be great if I could do it all?  Will I ever get to that point?  It would be lovely, wouldn’t it?  Sitting down to watch late night television and drifting off to sleep knowing that everything on today’s to do list was done and feeling completely ready for the next day.  There are people out there who achieve this level of bliss.  I have two questions for them.  How do you do it?  Does it make a difference in your level of happiness?

According to  Grethen Rubin’s blog on February 10th, there is a way.  She wrote about procrastination, the nemesis to progress.

I found this intriguing. . . .

In Roy Baumeister and John Tierney’s fascinating book, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, they suggest the “Nothing Alternative” to this problem. That is, if you want to get yourself to do something, make the alternative to that task to do nothing.

Nothing much,

What?  Seriously?  That sounds like what I am doing. . . nothing much!

Can I make the commitment to, instead, do NOTHING in place of procrastinating about what needs to be done?

My biggest personal barrier to progress is laziness. Pure laziness.  I have a blasé attitude towards most things.  If I don’t do it today, I will tomorrow.

“There’s always tomorrow.”  “Afterall, tomorrow is another day!”

When it comes down to it, perhaps I am not lazy.  It does take a lot of energy to do all the things that I do get done.  I work full-time and I manage a household with a work at home husband, three teenaged boys, and three cats.  I have been blogging and managing my online networks while working at increasing my readership.  I designed a website for one client and I am consulting with another on marketing and optimizing her business.  In turn she has become a close friend and has motivated me to start cooking and exercising.  (Thanks, I really did need that!)

I lack discipline.  That’s what it is.  I have slipped away from a routine that includes the regular chores of keeping the house clean, the laundry done and the refrigerator full.  Sometimes I feel like I am a roommate instead of the mom in my house.  My house has turned into a combination dorm room/locker room and it is out of control.  I have taken to sitting outside on my patio with my laptop and cell phone because it is either too messy, nowhere to sit, too many distractions, or just plain stinky inside!  I hated feeling isolated in my bedroom, at least now I can keep an eye on things through the sliding glass window.

Could I make this work?  I would like to make an effort to get it all done, even if that takes some delegating, er. . . um, motivating!  If I tell myself that I cannot do anything until the dishes are done, for example, will I get back in the habit of doing those chores quickly and efficiently rather than letting them pile up until I can’t stand it anymore?  (And please don’t tell me that the kids should be doing their share of the chores.  They do, believe me!  But I will not nag them to do something that I myself won’t do – they are even busier than I am plus they have the added pressure to get good grades.  That is their priority.)

So, for me it isn’t about not procrastinating in regards to work or writing – it’s getting my mundane everyday chores in check prior to diving in to my writing and creating and fun.  This brings to mind how I handled things when I was an at home mom. . . I would take the kids out for ice cream or to hang out at the park as a treat and only after we finished the chores of the day.  I remember (vaguely) thinking I wouldn’t turn the television on until I was finished with making dinner and cleaning the kitchen.  I was much more disciplined back then. When I was going through depression I would tell myself I could go back to bed as soon as I got one thing done.  I suppose I was putting into action the Nothing Alternative without realizing it!   I did like thinking of it as a reward system.

Hmmm . . . I can commit to trying that out!

Get up! I need to do the laundry!

My Favorite Place

Posted on February 17th, 2012 by & filed under Everything Miz Meliz

When asked, “Do you have a favorite place?” The first place that comes to mind is Santa Fe, New Mexico.  I can tell you a lot about that place and why it is my favorite.  The moment I think/write/say that – my mind is a flood of ideas, places, and possibilities.  I have a lot of favorites – and a lot of reasons that those places appeal to me.

The thing is, what makes a place so special?  What makes one place more special than another.  What all of my favorite places have in common is the way I feel when I am there.  So, may I venture to say that my favorite place is one in which my heart is happy?

Today that place might be right outside on my patio watching the trees sway in the wind and the fluffy white clouds roll by overhead. Tomorrow it might be driving along Pacific Coast Highway looking at the ocean waves from my Jeep with the top down and the sun shining on my shoulders as my hair blows around my face.  Tomorrow night it might be in Hollywood with my son and his friends attending a concert and recalling the fun times I had there in my youth!  The sites and sounds of the city, the fast cars, the restaurants and clubs, the cool people, are so intriguing and exciting to me!


I love New Mexico in general because I feel at home there.  I travelled there enough as a child with my parents that I have explored the different terrains, and enjoyed the seasons there.  Camping, hiking, fishing, shopping, visiting museums, eating . . . lots of exploring!

When I was a teenager, my cousin tought me to drive in Albuquerque, so I explored the area in a different way.  When I go there now, I know my way around.  I have a level of comfort that I only have in a few places.  When I arrive I am welcomed in a way by my family that feels like “coming home!”  When I leave I feel sadness.  I will miss that place.  I know I will be back.

Santa Fe is special.  I love the history, the art, the people, the food, the churches, the galleries, the restaurants, the climate, the sights and the sounds.  It is unique to that place.  Every time I go there, it is the same.  From the red color of the ristras hanging in every doorway, to the dusty shades of brown of each adobe building, to the rich turquise sky, mother of pearl clouds and corral sunsets – Santa Fe thoroughly enchants me to my core!  I receive a sense of belonging, I feel a sense of stability and strength. I connect with the earth, the sky and the air in that place.

I look into the eyes of the people there, into their smiles and their wrinkled faces and worn fingers and I see my roots, my ancestry.  The shape of the women’s bodies are the same as the shape of my grandmother’s, my mother’s, myself.  The inflections and tone in the voices of the people there are the same as my mother’s, my aunts’ and uncles’, and my cousins’ voices.  The deep dark amber brown eyes of the people there look at me with a familiarity and beckoning that says, “come home with me, do you want something to eat?”  The beautiful and flabby arms of the old women envelope me with hugs that feel like a set of soft warm wings wrapping around me and bringing me in to their bosom as if I was their own child, their own flesh and blood.  “Mija, it’s good to see you, you are such a beauty! You look just like your mom!”

And don’t get me started on the food!  Okay, I have to go there!  “Red or green?”  “Both of course!”  Sopapillas with honey, tortillas with green chile, beens with red chile. . . the spiciness is different than any other flavor I have ever tried, it’s hot and warm and lasting, never over-powering, never intrusive, never intense or bitter, just like the love that I feel when I arrive in that town!  I have claimed Santa Fe, New Mexico as my hometown!

Do you know where your hometown is?

Your hometown is a place you choose.
Get a map of the world.

Pin a little flag on a place on the map you’d like to go to.

The place you’ve put your flag is your hometown.
Let’s find a way to make this flag something you’ll be proud of.

Start by giving your hometown a name you want to call it by.

Find out some things about your hometown.

Make a scrapbook of images and people from your hometown, and add your comments about them.

Look after your hometown in your mind. Send it lots of love.
In your mind help anyone there who needs help.

If there are any broken-down houses, mend them in your mind.

If there are any people who are ill, make them better in your mind.

If any of the streets need cleaning, clean it in your mind.

If there are any children who are crying, wipe their tears away in your mind.
Find out about the past and present of your hometown.

If anything terrible has ever happened there, think about it, and try to take away the pain that’s still there.

If there’s something terrible going on there now, focus your thoughts on it, and try to take away all the pain.
Quietly tell your best friends about the problems of your hometown,

and ask them to solve them in their minds.

Put up some nice photos of your hometown in your room.

Write a diary about your hometown.

Keep sending your powerful energy to your hometown until more people start to smile and laugh and enjoy themselves.

Keep going until your efforts start to make things better in your hometown.

One day we’ll realize that all the towns in the world are someone’s hometown.

Stop Living Your MacGuffin

Posted on February 16th, 2012 by & filed under Somethin' Different

I really like this post by Quinncreative

Stop Living Your MacGuffin.

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