Mind Over Matter When It Matters

Posted on October 30th, 2013 by & filed under Everything Miz Meliz, I Love My LIfe

In this blog post, I will be taking a look at mindfulness. In particular, how having a life coach, practicing self-care, and choosing to have a positive outlook impacts our well-being.  I believe having a positive attitude and choosing happiness has made a difference in my life.  Let’s talk about how we can face challenges and overcome fears using the mindful approach.


“In the end, just three things matter:

How well we have lived
How well we have loved
How well we have learned to let go.”
― Jack Kornfield

According to Psych Central, “Mindfulness is the practice of bringing our awareness to what we are experiencing in the present, both internally and externally, without judgment. It is a wake-up call to become conscious of the ways we perceive and respond to life’s situations.”

How do I respond to life’s situations?

For the most part, honestly, I get stressed out and worried.  I don’t have all the answers.  I am not always in control.  I am afraid that I won’t be able to handle the situation.  I try to listen to my inner-sweetheart, but I shake my head in disbelief.  How will I ever handle all of this?

“The hardest battle you are ever going to fight is the battle to just be you.” ~Leo Buscaglia

Here are some healthy things that you can do next time you are facing challenges:

  • You can change your thinking style to manage stress and improve your attitude.
  • Use mindfulness to combat limiting beliefs.
  • Choose where to put your attention.
  • Replace worrisome thoughts with positive thoughts.
  • Choose to listen to the calming voice of reason.

My inner sweetheart is getting better at reminding me to calm down. She says, “Just breathe.  You can handle this. Take on one thing at a time.” I know when I listen to my inner “Bride of Frankenstein,” I will not get anywhere.  She is just too scatterbrained and easily agitated.  I know that I need to focus.

Be the master of change.

Now that I realize that I am creating the stress by how I filter and process what is happening around me, I can change my ways.  I can decide how I will accept what is happening and how I will respond.

I tell myself, “Just be you. Because you are great!” I am confident in my ways and know that this works for me.  In every situation, I always fare better when I choose positivity.

What is the worst thing that can happen?  Paige Burkes of Simple Mindfulness asks this question as she discusses ways to overcome fears using the mindful approach.

I made a list of all the things that concerned me, all of my challenges in no particular order. It helped to see everything listed in this way.  If I see these things as signals or signposts as they come my way, I can pause for a moment and choose how I will respond.  Now that I have identified them, I will recognize them easily and I will yield to my inner voice telling me to slow down, use caution, and choose the right path. Afrterall, what is the worst thing that will happen? It may be that I just need to try harder, get more information, practice, think twice before reacting, or simply be patient.

  1. Dealing with difficult people
  2. Being assertive without being labeled a “bitch”
  3. Managing stressful situations
  4. Keeping up a positive image, managing perceptions
  5. Staying Organized
  6. Communication (communicating clearly with others)
  7. Multi-tasking and completing projects
  8. Self-sabotage, facing fears and following through
  9. Continued personal growth
  10. Letting go (of things that no longer matter)
  11. Saying “No” – prioritizing
  12. Continued professional development
  13. Reaching Goals, facing my fear of success
  14. Increasing efficiency
  15. Managing finances

Martina McGowan of Musings and Affirmations proposes that we can learn and grow from challenging circumstances.  She says that we can resolve to use resources that reminds us of our own strengths.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

According to Sue MacGillivray of Life Coaching Solutions, “CBT looks at how to manage problems by changing our thought processes and thereby our behavior. In coaching, this too becomes relevant. Coaches need to understand how their clients encounter and view the world around them.

As we know, we all react differently to situations. How we act often depends on our ingrained belief system and how we view ourselves and our surroundings. If our interpretations are misjudged, unhelpful to us or illogical, our personal well-being will suffer.

It is so important to remember that our beliefs are thoughts and ideas that are no longer questioned. They have the power to create or destroy. Every thought, action or expectation is a direct result of our beliefs. So, if our beliefs (and thereby our thoughts) are limiting and negative, particularly about ourselves, we need to be able to challenge these. As difficult as it may seem, we absolutely have control over what we believe and therefore what we think and how we behave or react.”

Here are some types of CBT that you can do to manage your stress:

  • Meditation
  • Breathing
  • Muscle Relaxation
  • Coaching

Talking to someone really helps!  Dr. Evans says that there is a 28% lower risk of death for people who received health care plus some type of therapy, and the more sessions they had, the better they did.

Please take the time to watch this video when you can.  It explains in a FUN way how you can manage your stress and how it can SAVE YOUR LIFE!

The Single Most Important Thing You Can Do For Your Stress by Dr. Mike Evans

If you do not see a video above – try re-loading.

What other things can I do to reduce stress?

  • Write
  • Exercise
  • Rest
  • Eat healthy and stay on a regular schedule
  • Spend time with friends
  • Have fun
  • Go for a walk

Your thoughts and attitudes can help you navigate through the daily challenges in life.

Read more about practicing mindfulness techniques to reduce stress at Harvard Health and check out the resources in this post from  Psych CentralSimple MindfulnessMusings and Affirmations , and Dr. Evans.

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3 responses to “Mind Over Matter When It Matters”

  1. Bride of frankenstein! Gotta listen to her.

  2. Ann Odle says:

    Talking to someone always helps; talking to you is a joy that I’m so glad to have discovered my friend!

  3. Small Footprints says:

    Thank you … this was a very informative post. I do believe that being mindful can help us deal with a lot. Once we realize that we can’t change the past and allow the future to take care of itself, all we’re left with is right now. Managing this minute seems doable … and far less stressful than managing everything else. 🙂

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