I have been meaning to call you.
I have been meaning to visit.
I have been meaning to read your blog.
I have been meaning to work on that article.
I have been meaning to organize my files.
I have been meaning to clean the hall closet.
I open the cupboard in the kitchenette at the office and I say to myself, “I have been meaning to bring in some coffee mugs.”
Now I am doing it to myself. Selling myself short. Breaking promises to myself. Letting myself slide. It starts out small. It becomes acceptable. Next I will be doing it big time.
I have been meaning to pay that bill.
I have been meaning to get an oil change.
I have been meaning to have a gathering with my family.
I have been meaning to cook his favorite meal.
I must change this and soon! I need to honor my commitments, to my family, to my friends, to my debtors, to myself. Honoring commitments is so important. Fulfilling promises to myself is vital. If I can’t fulfill a promise to myself, how can I expect others to depend on me? How can I expect others to trust me?
I trust myself. I know I will do these things. I meant to do it. I know I meant to! Sometimes going with the flow, taking one thing at a time, not sweating the small stuff, and living in the moment becomes an excuse to not get things done. Okay, an excuse is a bit harsh. I am talking about myself and my experience, so I know I can take it. I honestly believe it is best for me to go with the flow, because if I don’t I will get worried and paranoid and depressed. I put so much pressure on myself to get everything done, to do everything for others and right the world’s wrongs that I get sick. Yes, I make myself sick. I not only get disgusted with myself, I get physically and emotionally ill.
Not completing things and letting all the intentions pile up makes me ill, too. So, what is a girl to do? I want to be in my Zen. I want to be in control. Cool. Confident. I want to walk the walk and talk the talk. Here is what I will do. As soon as I hear the little voice say, “Oops, I meant to do that.” I am going to do it. No more saving for later, adding to my mental list, waiting for the next opportunity. Fix it, buy it, take it, mail it, call, visit, pay, bring, make, and do it now. Most likely, it will just take a moment. Most likely, it will just happen naturally. If I catch myself slipping and not taking action as I intend to, I won’t beat myself up over it. But I will do my best to live up to my promises, fulfill my commitments and be my best self.
I mean it!
If you want to read more about self-development and my journey to living my best life, read http://mizmeliz.com/2012/01/24/truth-is-essential/