Do you know what your core values are? What things are most important to you? What do you stand for? If you don’t think you know what your purpose in life is, join the club. Most of us don’t know. And if we think we know, how can we be so sure? Now is the time to find and define your own personal style – for your life, your blog, anything. (This post is valued by QBeats because I believe my work is valuable.) This is #2 of the 6 part series on “Getting Your Rear in Gear for the Year”
Now is the time to find and define your own personal style – for your life, your blog, anything.
I have been writing for many years now about my struggles with finding and living out my true passions and realizing my purpose in life. Through my search, I have developed some practices that have really helped me to build my self-confidence and live a happier, more fulfilled life. As I travel on my journey I continue to grow and learn from all of my experiences. I discovered my favorite things to do are the things that I am good at doing. I have become a certified life coach, an author, and host to my own video broadcast show. I have done all these things by having a clear vision of who I want to be and knowing my core values. Over everything, I believe in myself. That is the key. If you believe in yourself, you can accomplish anything!
Do you know what your core values are? What things are most important to you? What do you stand for? If you don’t think you know what your purpose in life is, join the club. Most of us don’t know. And if we think we know, how can we be so sure?
I spent a lot of time working on discovering what my core values are, for my self, for my life, and for my relationships. It was worth the “self-work” because after doing the research I found that it is truly the root (or core) of everything that I want in life. Most importantly, it is inherant. I am not coming up with something new. I am simply (maybe not so simply) reaching deep inside of myself to rediscover who I am, who I was born to be, and what makes me happiest.
This is how it starts. Before you decide on a a focus, before you make a list of goals, before you can even consider a vision for your future – write down your core values. Make some lists. What types of things are important to you now? How about when you were growing up? What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you have any careers in mind? Did you think about family? List what you wanted and cared about when you were young. Then go back to childhood. Look at your baby book. What things did you like to play with? What did you dream about doing? What made you happy?
If you are married, you can do this for your relationship as well. What does your relationship stand for? Did you write your own marriage vows? If you went with the traditional vows, do you remember them? Are they the structure, the foundation of your promise to each other. Have you upheld your vows? Change the vows to the values behind each one. Talk about it with your partner. If you aren’t married, consider what your relationship means to each of you. Do you have promises that you stick by? These are your relationship values.
Your core values are promises that you make to yourself. And the single most important one is your true core belief or desire. And, my friend, that is your purpose.
Know what makes you happy and do what you need to move you towards that thing.
If you are a list maker, journal writer, note taker like me, then you can look back and take stock in the things that have mattered to you most in life. Revisit and review your old goals. Write down the things that you still want in life. Write down what matters to you most now. Make a list of the things you still want to achieve. Are there new things? Think about the future. What do you want to accomplish in five years? How about 10 or 20 years from now? Where will you be then? How do you see yourself? What does it feel like?
This is YOUR life.
Read this post from my friend at QuinnCreative: “Reading Isn’t Believing”
“What works for someone else might not work for me. And if it doesn’t match what I know to be true from my own life, it’s probably not true for me. My life is a big circle, and I invite a lot of people in. But it doesn’t mean I have to follow them around in circles.” ~Quinn McDonald
Make three lists:
Choose 5-8 main ideas or concepts that would make you happiest. Call them goals, wants, desires, values – whatever suits you. There are no right or wrong answers – this is YOUR life. Draw or find pictures that represent these ideals. Put them together on a large piece of paper, poster board or on your computer. I use Pinterest for mine. This is your Vision Board.
The concept here is, “If you see it, you will believe it, and it will happen.”
The vision board helps us to define the goals we have for our lives. It is a visual aid that puts a picture in our mind of what we want to achieve. It is the same way you learned what made you happy when you were a child. You saw someone with what you wanted, they either were the person that influenced you like a nurse or a business man, a teacher or a gardener, or they had something that you liked. You pictured yourself with these things, as this person. Did any of it come true? Once you had the idea in your mind that you could have it, did you make it so? If not, why not? What can you do now to make your dreams come true? What have you learned that you won’t do?
Knowing our goals enables us to make the right decisions and stay on the right path in order to reach these goals. Once you determine the things that make you happiest and what you want for your life, that knowledge in and of itself makes you feel joyful.
Not too long ago, I was feeling a little blah. I had written and published my book which had been my life’s aspiration for so long. My kids were not needing me as much. Their dreams involved leaving home. I could only see boredom, debt, and fixing up my old house in my 10 year plan. I thought, once this is an empty nest, my life will be about wishing my kids had kids so I can relive that joyful time in my life.
I wanted more than that. Way more! I knew that. But I didn’t have a plan. My goals and dreams were starting to get outdated. I needed to update my vision. That’s when I put my board on Pinterest. I started to get excited about the things I could picture myself doing, “after the kids are grown.” And then the best part happened. My husband and I started talking about it and we realized that we wanted the same things. Not only that, but one of my lifelong dreams to live on the beach – which I never talked about because I know he doesn’t like the beach – was something that he had been thinking about. He told me about it when we were visiting my brother in Channel Islands Harbor.
We had gone for a walk on the beach nearby and I told my hubby that the rental prices in that area were actually in our price range, and if only he didn’t hate the beach so much, it would be cool to stay there one summer. He said, “You know what, I could live here.”
I will never forget those words. He could? He felt like the area was conveniently located to the things that made him happiest, and as long as he had a comfortable home with me, he didn’t care where we were. So long as I promised to never make him camp in a tent on the sand ever again, he could totally go for moving to the beach. Deal!
Now we both had something fantastic to look forward to. We could start planning and making decisions based on what we want the end goal to be. Everything changed from that moment on. It was our silver lining. Our prize. We have something to look forward to that we are equally invested in besides being grandparents. And this thing we can make happen in our own time. Now I understand why most people move to a new home when they retire. My parents did it. It was their dream home. Now, I have mine. I see it in my future. I believe it. I will make it so.
We do not need the vision board in our faces all the time. We do not need to keep reminding ourselves what the goals are. We will achieve them by simply putting them out of focus, thus we stay directed even if we can’t see the goal directly in front of us. We know where we are going. How can I forget my dreams? If something comes up that doesn’t fit into the plan to get where I want to go, I will think hard about taking that direction. When something comes up that can help me achieve my goal, I am more apt to make a decision to go for it. Because I know. It is that simple. I know where I am going and what I want for my future. I have a clear vision. My vision board is my guide. It is my travel triptik or “lifetik” to my future. I will surely enjoy the journey in the meantime!