In this episode of Inspiring Adventures, Gabriella van Rij shares her steps that anyone can do to make kindness a habit. We have an amazing open discussion about kindness, tolerance, communication pitfalls, navigating our overly reactive society, how to become better and kinder communicators, and much more on our “Inspiring Adventure” together.
“As a toddler, I was plucked from a Catholic orphanage in Pakistan. Without the determination of two strangers, I would not have made it to my adoptive family. Today, I ask this question: Will you pick up the ball of Human Kindness® and be a hero to someone who needs your help?” ~Gabriella van Rij
Connect with Gabriella here:
A 4-Step Process For Making Kindness
An Everyday Habit In 2017
Research has shown that being kind makes us happier and also is contagious, inspiring others to be kind as well. For example, one such study published in the Journal of Social Psychology linked performing acts of kindness to an increase in life satisfaction.
That’s why as people make their resolutions for the coming New Year, they should make up their minds to commit purposeful acts of kindness every day, says Gabriella van Rij (www.gabriella.global), a kindness activist and author whose latest book is Watch Your Delivery.
“Making kindness a habit changes lives – your own life and others,” van Rij says. “I believe we’re born with innate kindness, but we’ve just forgotten about it because we’re always running. We’re just too busy doing other things and we need to remind ourselves to be kind.”
She says we as a society have dropped the ball on human kindness and it’s time we picked it back up.
“I truly believe that we are all born with innate kindness, but then the hand that feeds us or the environment makes us abandon it pretty fast,” van Rij says. “By the time we are 5, we have learned to compete and to strive for success. It’s time for a new measuring stick for success.”
She says by following a four-step process, people can put a little more kindness in the world and quickly fall into the habit of committing kindness every day:
• Be kind to yourself. It’s hard to have the patience to be kind to others if we can’t even take the time to be kind to ourselves. “This might seem selfish, but it’s not,” van Rij says. “By being kind to ourselves, we shape our attitude toward others.”
• Answer rudeness with kindness. This one is difficult, van Rij acknowledges. “When someone is rude to you, the first thing you do is instantly react and not always in a positive way,” she says. “And the second thing you do is say it’s about me. They were nasty to me.” But van Rij says it’s not about you, it’s about the emotion. By answering rudeness with kindness, you diffuse the situation and there’s also a certain satisfaction in seeing the change in the attitude of the person who was rude.
• Watch your delivery. The tone that accompanies your words is as important as what you are saying. Do you need to soften your tone? Does what you say sound more aggressive than what you mean? Body language also can send a message you didn’t intend, so be aware of your body language and your facial expressions.
• Acknowledge kindness when you see it. When you acknowledge the kind acts you see, that person will be encouraged to continue to spread kindness. Acknowledging kindness in others also will serve as a reminder to you about how you can show kindness.
“Unfortunately, one of the reasons we don’t always treat each other well is that we are a fear-based society, and fear only breeds more fear,” van Rij says. “But luckily there is an antidote because just as fear breeds more fear, I believe kindness grows more kindness.”
Gabriella van Rij (www.gabriella.global) is a speaker, author and activist whose latest book, Watch Your Delivery, explores how we often fail in communicating. She began her life as an orphan in Pakistan, and today is a frequent guest on TV and radio. She also is the author of I Can Find My Might and With All My Might.
Dare to be Kind with Gabriella van Rij on Inspiring Adventures with Miz Meliz https://smiletime.com/channel/mizmeliz #onSmiletime
Help me welcome Cowboy Carew Papritz, author of The Legacy Letters on Tinsel Town Live https://smiletime.com/channel/mizmeliz #onSmiletime
Tinsel Town Live with Miz Meliz Presents:
Wednesday, December 21, 2017, 6:00 pm Pacific Time
Carew is passionate about living the central message of his inspirational book, The Legacy Letters, by living life to the fullest. As a result, he’s done book signings on top of volcanoes, on horseback at Barnes & Noble, on whistle-stop book tours on Amtrak, while river rafting, on top of the Space Needle, outside The Today Show, and next to Niagara Falls!
Cowboy Carew, as he likes to be called, has created such national events as “The Great Legacy Letters Book Balloon Launch” in which kids sent aloft miniature versions of my book by balloon and then tracked how far they traveled. The event also helped such charities as The Make-a-Wish Foundation, Reading is Fundamental, and the Military Mama Network by creating a world record!
With his background of working on feature films in Hollywood, Papritz has created a number of YouTube videos series that help promote kids to read more. One series called, “I love to read and . . .” has him reading The Legacy Letters while actually doing various activities such as skiing over a cliff, riding a horse, walking up to a castle, and much more! He loves a good adventure!
In the spirit of the book, Carew has done TV and radio interviews that include such topics as, “How to write the Perfect Love Letter for Valentine’s Day,” “How to Get Your ‘i-Kid’ Back to the Holiday Table,” “How to Create the Perfect Gap Year,” “How the Olympic Games Made Me an Award-Winning Author,” “How to Reconnect with Family in This Technology-Drenched World,” and the incredibly cute, “How to Write the Perfect Letter to Santa Claus!”
“If I get to walk my talk, live my book, and inspire people to do the same—while being outdoors—then I’m a happy man!” ~Carew Papritz
Cowboy Carew Papritz really loves sharing with the world the inspirational stories that people have revealed to him about their lives from their reading “The Legacy Letters.” H finds their stories to be moving, heart breaking, fantastical, and soul humbling. He also loves talking about how kids can be inspired to read more by making reading seem more cool and exciting with his book adventures.
Carew had this idea when we first planned doing an interview together…he wrote on my form:
“A suggestion: How about doing a special video segment where we walk the streets of Hollywood, Sunset Blvd area, UCLA, and/or other areas while talking about my transition from UCLA Film School, working on features, music videos, and commercials to then becoming a working cowboy in Arizona while writing a multi-award winning book? Might be a fascinating segment. Let me know what you think?”
I was wowed by this idea! Carew seemed to have an insight about the direction I wanted to go with my interviews. So, we will be walking and talking on my first interview in a new series: Inspiring Adventures with Miz Meliz. Watch for it in late February 2017.
Thank you to everyone who allowed me to interview them on Tinsel Town Live this year. It really is my very own passion project. I love doing it and I am looking forward to seeing how it will grow and flourish in 2017 as part of A Year in Bloom! with love and gratitude, Melissa @MizMeliz