I believe that patience can be the same thing as trust. Trust and faith seem to go hand in hand as well. What does it all mean?
It is about releasing control, isn’t it?
“Patience may not be flashy, but it is crucial to well-being and effectiveness.
And it’s not something only the Dalai Lama can do (i.e. notions of certain people having the “patience of a saint”). Patience is what modern psychological and brain science would support and it’s what you can do while you’re waiting for the next thing—the end of the meeting, your driveway at the conclusion of a long commute home from work, the salivation and smell of dinner served, the anticipation of a lofty goal’s attainment, and then sleep before dreams of a weekend’s diversions.” ~Mitch Abblett, Mindful.org
Mitch Abblett calls it “what you can do while you are waiting for the next thing.” I don’t know about you, but no matter how much I try I am never successful at speeding up time or making things happen using my mental abilities. No, just thinking about things and hoping they will work out when I want them to and how I want them to, just never seems to happen for me. So, what can I do to get better at not spending my time worrying, wondering, waiting, and stressing out about “the next thing?”
How can I practice patience, actively? Trust. Faith. Hope. Patience. These are positive, yet passive mental activities. Aren’t they?
Let me see. I will look in my crystal ball and tell you exactly what will happen next. Hold on a moment.
Are you still waiting? This could take a while. And, I do not guarantee accuracy in my forecast.
My crystal ball says, come back tomorrow.
Wow, that could be frustrating, huh?! I am not out of my mind, I don’t even have a crystal ball, nor would I know how to use one if I did. But, you see what I mean, right? That’s what passive patience entails. Waiting for the unknown to happen – for who knows how long – and not having any guarantee that it will happen at all. No wonder we always have to be reminded to be patient! No wonder it isn’t a built in process.
I just sighed. I am now taking a long slow deep breath. I relaxed my shoulders. I was getting worked up because it seems difficult when it should be easy. It is very easy. Here is what we can do. (Get that? Active. Action. Positive. Motion. Together.) Here is what WE CAN DO:
Instead of waiting patiently, BE PATIENT.
Instead of hoping for the best, BE HOPEFUL.
Instead of gazing into the future trusting that things will be okay in the end, BELIEVE GOOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING NOW.
Instead of always leaving it up to the Universe or God, with blind faith, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
You are resilient.
You are accepting.
You are a miracle.
You are Awesome.
Even when you are waiting.
Even when you don’t have the answers.
Even when you are afraid. alone. tired. weak.
Even when nothing makes sense.
Love this moment, right now.
Love who you are.
Love everything you ever were.
Love everything you have yet to do, see, and be.
Never Give Up.
Jonathan Morrow says “The Cowardly Lion is an unlikely hero who learned to overcome his fears. We are all cowardly lions. Everyday, we have to wake up and remind ourselves how to roar.”
The topic is courage because it comes up again and again for me in my studies of life, business, and self-care. Actually, it is fear that comes up. Courage is the counterpart to fear. If I don’t want to be afraid, I must be courageous. Right? Maya Angelou said that you need courage in order to practice the other more important virtues. Courage is the starting point for transformation. Courage is needed to move forward with plans and goals and wants and dreams. We don’t do anything without some level of courage. (I wrote about Courage before.)
If it weren’t for courage, I might stay in bed all day where it is safe and warm and comfortable. If it weren’t for courage, I would never voice my opinion or make any choices for myself. Courage gives me a voice. Courage gives me an opinion. Courage has a lot to do with who I am. ~M. Reyes 3-9-16
In Jon Morrow’s article about the Cowardly Lion, he goes through the steps the lion took to get courage in the story of The Wizard of Oz. He related these steps to the tools needed to activate courage when taking on a new business or project. I went over many of these principles in my interview with David Vaughan on Tinsel Town Tonight, when he portrayed the Lion to prove a point about what it takes to be courageous. The point is this – we aren’t naturally courageous. We need to make an effort. We must activate our courage and we must do this often.
Here are some tools to use when activating your courage:
Desperation – when you have “hit rock bottom” or are at your “wit’s end” that feeling will motivate you to make a change
Motivation – use that motivation to set some goals and get going. Don’t wait – move on it.
Discovery – If you have questions about how and when you will change and complete your mission, use that as a means to discover whatever you need to take the next step.
Challenge – if it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth fighting for, or trying so hard. Challenge yourself and make it important.
Ignore your inner critic – those negative voices are telling you that it can’t be done, or it is too hard. Ignore it! It means that you can do it. The chemicals in your brain make you think these thoughts in order to protect you from harm. You know what you are doing. Believe the positive and encouraging voice inside you.
Compassion – you feel called to help someone in need. You care about the people who depend on you. These are good reasons to step up and make things better for everyone.
Collaboration/Partnerships – You aren’t alone in this. Bounce off your ideas with your bestie. Work with some knowledgeable people and come up with a plan together. Support each other through this. Two heads are better than one and all that.
Celebrate – It is good to honor the milestones and remember the past. You have made it this far. Pat yourself on the back and soak in the recognition you deserve. That makes you want more of it even more, Keep up the good work.
Keep going – when things fail, try and try again. When things get stagnant, keep going. You might be a few steps away from achieving your goal. You won’t know if you don’t keep going forward.
Take notes – journal, keep a photo album, document your work and your achievements. Refer back to them and review what you did that worked. Enjoy the memories and share them. You did it! You believed you could do it and you did it! Write the book. Frame the certificate. Send the announcements. You totally deserve it. It wasn’t easy. You are awesome!
I have learned that the following things are important in order to be successful.
This is a good reminder for me and I hope it helps you as well.
When I was young, I was shy. I mean when I was really young. I was the youngest in the family. The only child in a world of adults and teenagers. I would hide behind my mother. I never let go of her. I was afraid of being alone, going to the doctor or dentist, being left at preschool, clowns. I was afraid of anything that might separate me from my mother, from my safety zone. Eventually I overcame the separation anxiety and enjoyed school and making friends. But until high school, I was still pretty shy. Even at work when I was in my 20’s I didn’t voice my opinion. In college, I stayed to myself in class and never asked questions. I was an observer. I thought it was being respectful. I wasn’t really sure what my own opinions were. I was a people pleaser and I followed the direction of others that I trusted for the most part. Of course, I don’t know if I knew that I was doing that at the time. But, when I finally discovered my own voice and my own opinions welled up to the surface I knew! It was still awhile before I found courage.
I was searching for something. I wanted validation. I wanted success. I wanted to be heard. I needed to feel important.
The seed of “me” had developed inside all that time and I was ready to bloom.
It took courage. Courage and determination. They say when you are ready you know. When you are ready to get married, have children, move to another place, change careers, all those major decisions. You are supposed to know. I don’t necessarily agree. I believe when you feel uneasy with who you are or what you are doing, it is time to make a change. What do you think?
For me, I am creative and I like to make things. Every project is a way to start anew. Writing is a way to start something and see it through. Travel and planning events and vacations is another way I use my abilities. Each project takes courage to start and to be successful. I started taking on bigger projects. Becoming a life coach. Writing a book. Doing a live talk show. Publishing and sharing my work. Planning a move. Speaking at conferences and workshops. Everyday I remind myself that I am capable, I am loved, and I can be heard. Do I roar? Not exactly. But I know I can!
I love colorful drawings and art. Mandalas are an amazing way to tap into my creativity. I love looking at them, drawing them, coloring them, and sharing them. What sparks your creativity? What motivates you to sparkle?
Let’s talk about YOU.
Join me on this weekly check in point on our journey of discovery. It’s free. It is never recorded. Watch, listen and participate as much or as little as you feel works for you.
Every Thursday at 5:30 pm PST
This week’s topic: Welcoming