Be Inspired

What does “Being Inspired” Mean? Speaking the Truth

Posted on January 14th, 2013 by & filed under Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

Forget about what you know or what you have learned and just speak. The best and most important things that I have said, have been spoken from the heart. From my inner self. I have said that when it really counts, I will open my mouth and the spirit will speak through me. That is being inspired.

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Letting Go for a Fresh Start

Posted on January 7th, 2013 by & filed under Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

Letting Go for a Fresh Start

Let go of past hurts. Put it behind you. Forgive. Try and forget. It’s difficult because the wounds are fresh. I learned recently to think of the person you are trying to forgive as a child and then consider how or why they hurt you. If their inner child could have been responsible, if it is really them and not you, then forgive that kid. Let it go. You are all grown up now. You can do it. You are better than this. Start fresh today. Make it great!

Happy New Year! Focus on Today While Looking Back

Posted on January 1st, 2013 by & filed under Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

Focus on Today

My theme word for 2013 is “Ta-da!!” After reflecting on 2012 and in my readiness to ignite my passions and spark my awesomeness in 2013, I want to have that youthful energy and spread the excitement like a magician or a child showing off – – think Jazz hands! I plan to jump in to the center of the room and say, “Ta-da!” Here I am, here is what I know, this is it people!”

Copyright 2013 Melissa Reyes

Miz Meliz – Carefree and Exploring Life! I love that my Mom and aunts are on the level above looking out the window, they are still watching out for me!

Thank you to everyone who has followed my blog this past year.   I am grateful for the important role you have played in my life and I am so glad to have you with me on my journey.

Taking a Look Back

I have been thinking a lot lately of the little girl that I once was.  I grew up surrounded by adults.  Being the youngest in my family and in my generation, I felt the urge to be grown up.  I spent most of my life so far trying to (and succeeding at) being a responsible adult.  It took some serious digging into my heart to remember what it felt like to be a fun-loving carefree child.  (It wasn’t that hard to recall my teenage and young adult years, where I had fun – but that is VERY different kids!) Thinking about what I was like as a child helped me to determine who I really am.  I believe that we are complete and whole from the start.  The person I am today started as a seed that has grown and developed with help from all the outside influences.  But at the core of who I am, I am indeed that fun-loving carefree child.

Copyright Melissa Reyes 2013

Little Miss Melissa on a Swing at the Park

I loved playing outside when I was little.  I made mud pies.  I helped my Dad water the trees and plant seedlings.  I loved to swing on the swing on the tree in the backyard.  I liked to capture caterpillars and praying mantis and put them in jars.  Eventually I would let them go. In the fall, I loved walking through the piles of leaves that accumulated on our front lawn.  When it rained, I loved jumping in puddles!  I liked to lay in the grass and watch the clouds pass overhead.

Little Miss Melis, 2 Years Old

Little Miss Melis, 2 Years Old

I always liked to collect things.  When I was very little it was pennies, marbles, sea shells and sand dollars.  I had a very large stuffed animal collection and each one had a name and a special place on my bed.  I had a few beloved dolls and I cared for them by bathing them, changing their clothes and cutting their hair.

Copyright Melissa Reyes 2013

Little Miss Mommy with her baby dolls, notice one had to have her own chair!

I liked to dress up, especially at Halloween.  I always made my own costumes (with Mom’s help, of course!)  I remember being Raggedy Anne, a hobo, Dorothy, a flapper, a princess, and a devil.

When I was little my parents traveled and took vacations by car and then later by camper.  We camped and fished and went on adventures.  They took me to all of the South Western states and we visited family in New Mexico almost every year.  We went to Nevada, Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas.  On other trips we went to the Pacific Northwest.  We went all the way up the coast through Northern California, Oregon, Washington to British Colombia, Canada.  We also went to Hawaii when I was eleven.  I loved those trips and enjoyed sitting in the front seat between my parents so I wouldn’t miss a thing.

Copyright Melissa Reyes 2013

Miss Melis Loving the Outdoors!

We took lots of weekend trips all over California.  We spent lots of time in San Diego visiting family.  We would shop in Tijuana now and then.  Sometimes we went on day trips to Solvang or Palm Springs. I loved walking on the beach early in the morning with my Dad and stopping for donuts on the way back.  I would go for a walk with my Mom when we went camping and we would “explore.”

Now What?

I realize that these are the things that I was naturally happiest doing.  My goal for this year is to do the things that naturally make me happy.  I am fortunate to be in a place in my life where I have met my goals and I want to keep things the way they are for a while.  For now, I will do my best to maintain my home, my job, my relationships and all the things that I love.  I will do so with the zest and excitement of the adventurous fun-loving and carefree child that I am at heart.

Please, share with me a memory of your childhood.  What were you like?  Were you that way for as long as you can remember?  Tell me something good. . .

Sparking my Awesome in 2013 #ReReRe

Posted on December 31st, 2012 by & filed under Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

Before I can really get going in planning for 2013, I want to take a look back at 2012.  Here is a review of my greatest successes in 2012 in five key areas:

Finances

Financially speaking, it was a solid year.  I managed to do some fun things with my cash flow.  I am still living paycheck to paycheck, but I am not in any more debt than I was at this time last year.  Based on everything that I have happening in my family dynamic right now, in this economy, staying afloat is a good place to be.

I made a few “investments” this year.  I was able to pay for and complete a course on Life Coaching which will enable me to help others and help me increase my income in the future.  My hubby bought a mountain bike and if he rides it, it will pay for itself in place of a gym membership, that is an investment – especially for his health!  I leased a new car for my son, this was an important financial decision based on safety and peace of mind and replaced the old car that couldn’t pass the smog test.  My hubby and I managed to go away for a weekend here and there.  I believe that having a respite is a great investment for our relationship!  We joined a bowling league with two of our sons.  With having to pay fees for four people every week, it gets costly.  I look at it as another great investment because it was a nice way to spend quality family time and get out for some physical activity.  We indulged a bit here and there, but I consider that as investing in our quality of life.

Perhaps my priorities are a bit skewed since I really should have used the money that I spent on a new flat screen TV for the bedroom to pay down debt, but heck I am an American living the dream, so I am glad I did it.

As I am working on this, I feel like such a financial failure! Since I practice positivity, I am trying to glean some upbeat financial successes, but they will not compare at all to a anyone who actually had a financial gain. But in looking back at this key area of my life I have made a discovery. I recognize a pattern.  I do the same things each and every year.  It is not a surprise that my financial situation never improves. I am not doing a thing to improve it.  I need to consider this strongly in making my goals for 2013.

Relationships

In reflecting on my relationships this past year, I feel good about them.  My marriage is in it’s happy place.  We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this April.  I have everything right now that I hoped for when I got married.  My husband has given me a family, a home, and a bright future to look forward to.  What more could a girl want?  That is what I wanted when I was a girl.  Now, as I emerge as a woman and my children are growing and my home needs a lot of work I wonder what will happen in the next twenty years.  I have some ideas!  Luckily, he is game!  The number one success in my relationship has always been great communication.  We talk things through and when we don’t agree with each other, we accept and move forward.  My relationship with my hubby is my number one priority.

I have made a lot of new friends this year.  I have also reignited and strengthened relationships with old friends and family.  I have let a few relationships fall to the back burner.  I may let it stew a bit longer before I open up that pot!  But I won’t ever let the relationship boil away or burn what is left.  I can always spice it up and give it some attention and put some life back into it, right?  Relationships worth having can always be mended.

Health

Physically speaking, suffice it to say that I am still alive.  I am not better or worse off than last year.  I have written a lot about my health and my ailments lately.  I am working on it. I did next to nothing to improve my fitness level this year.  I started a few things.  I failed miserably at this.

I don’t feel healthy and I have very low energy.  I hope to get that back in 2013.  My son asked me recently if I ever wanted to go skiing again.  I told him I would love to, but my back starts hurting after an hour of shopping at the mall!  How would I be able to ski for a day without feeling miserable?  I can start “training” now to get in shape and be able to ski with my kids next year.  That goal restores the motivation I need to get moving and make healthy choices.

Intellect

Intellectually speaking, I am on top of my game!  This year, I completed a course online for life coaching, attended a conference for blogging, wrote on the blog an average of three times a week, and participated in daily discussions on topics ranging from birth experiences to the afterlife!

One test that I give myself from time to time is checking the dictionary for definitions of words that I use in my writing.  I score myself an A+ every time I use an uncommon word and apply it correctly.  I have never missed a meaning completely.  Once this year, I was glad I checked because I was using the wrong spelling of a word which would not have made sense in that context.  As a writer, to be understood is valued highly.  I have been doing what I can to make sure that I convey what I am thinking clearly.  That is the ultimate success for me.

Spirituality

Spiritually, I have looked deep into my heart and and I realize that I am whole and centered in my beliefs.  I have faith in God and I love praying to the Virgin Mary to intercede for me.  I appreciate my Catholic upbringing and I am proud to share that with my husband and glad that we are passing it on to our kids.  I did not attend Mass regularly in 2012.  There are many reasons for that and I am not ready to share them yet.  I will look at that more closely in 2013.

I plan to attend Mass more often especially because one of my sons will be making his Confirmation this year.  I love going to Mass, singing, praying, receiving communion and spending time with my community.  What I love most about belonging to a loving community is the care that I can give and receive from other people who share my beliefs.  I have learned that I have a similar experience with people of all faiths on Facebook and through my blog.

All people can feel that sense of belonging, love, and care.    I thoroughly enjoy that and it brings me peace.  However, physically being in the arms of my loved ones is something that I miss and hope to participate in regularly going forward.

a borrowed picture, source unknown at this time

a borrowed picture, source unknown at this time

In the spirit of “Sparking My Awesome in 2013” I plan to write more posts on my blog that are from my heart.  I created a new category, “Tell Me Something Good.”  This is where I will post my thoughts on the subjects that I have been contemplating during the month of December.  Here are some of them:

Peace
Creativity
Relationships
Growth
Healing
Forgiveness
Confidence
Love
Acceptance
Empowerment
Happiness
Excellence
Challenges
Life
Honor
Kindness
Compassion
Optimism
Gratitude
Simplicity
Perspective
Grace
Insight
Trust
Awareness

These are the topics I hope to explore and share with you.  With every post, I plan to ask you to reflect on the subject and give me your insights in a positive way.  I will ask you to please,

Tell Me Something Good. . .

I look forward to sharing my positivity this year with everyone that I encounter!

Merry Christmas! I love you!

Posted on December 25th, 2012 by & filed under Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

Merry Christmas!

I am filled with love today and my eyes are still stinging from the tears I shed last night.  I went to see Les  Misérables with my husband and sons on Christmas Eve.  It was wonderful!  I cried throughout the movie because I found the music and acting to be so powerful with emotion, it moved me.  The story of Jean Valjean is one of hope and unconditional love and forgiveness.  I was looking forward to this reminder which was perfectly timed to arrive on Christmas Eve.  No matter how bad things get (and they got very very bad for Jean Valjean!) we can always get through it if we don’t give up faith.  That can be faith in God, in love, in friendship, or simply in the belief that things can get better tomorrow.  Just live one more day.  The best message of Christmas time (the season of love and hope that you honor) that I can think of is to believe.  Believe in yourself.  Believe in your heart and your capacity for love.  As Victor Hugo wrote, “To love another is to see the face of God.”  To truly love someone is the most graceful thing we can do.  If we give love to another our heart is filled with joy and compassion.

I love you!

I love the magic of Christmas and the joy it brings to all people.  Young and old, people of all faiths wish each other good tidings at this time.  The spirit of a giving heart is personified in Santa Claus.  I love that spirit of giving.  I am filled with love today, not because of what I have or what I want, but because of what I am able to give.  Jean Valjean didn’t have a wife, or children of his own.  He didn’t have anything for much of his life, and what he did have was borrowed, stolen, or given to him when he denied his own self.  When he had the chance to love another person is when he was given the true gift of hope.

Believe

Hope

Live

Love

Let joy fill your heart!

Merry Christmas!  I love you!

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Give Yourself a Break! It’s OK to Say “No, Thank You.”

Posted on December 19th, 2012 by & filed under Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

When asked about her best moment in 2012 artist Liz Crain says, “Finally being able to refuse commissioned work I don’t want to take on without feeling cheesy, awkward, apologetic or wrong. Doing so with ease and a smile, even a soft joke that leaves the requester still on my team. I learned this comes from my solar plexus not my brain with its dutiful, people-pleasing programming.”

That reminds me of a time when I learned to say “no” – looking back, I see how much it changed my life. I am a people pleaser, too. I never wanted to let someone down. Someone recently cancelled on me after committing to do some volunteer work and it was the 2nd time she cancelled on a project that I really needed her for, and I thought “she is someone who has not learned to say, I want to, but I just can’t. Thank you for thinking of me.” It makes such a difference. Especially when you do commit to something and you can do it and you do your absolutely best ‘knock-their-socks-off work and it shows.

Take a look at this video to see a great explanation of this point. . . “Hell Yeah or No!”

http://vimeo.com/25496723

I have been consistently doing that for about ten years now and you know what? I still have friends, I am still asked to work on projects, I still participate in things – and I do it to the best of my capabilities.

This makes me proud.  I have three kids.  I started out wanting to be “fair” and doing the same things with each of them.  Mommy & Me class, soccer team mom, room parent, etc.  My mom used to tell me, “You are doing too much.  Life isn’t fair.  They won’t remember all of the things you do.”  But I was trying to do the right thing.  I was trying to be that Super Mom.  I needed to learn to say “no” to the things I felt obliged to do.  I love it when I have the time and energy to devote to the the things that I can say, “Hell Yeah!” to.time is running out

Peter Bregman, author of 18 Minutes, calls it “flexing his no thanks muscles.”  He actually has a “No Thank You List.”  Peter says, “Of course, the reason we’re saying, “no thanks,” is so that we can say, “yes please,” to the right things. The reason I didn’t join the committee is so I can focus on my book. The reason I passed on the dinner is so I can focus on my family. The reason I didn’t take on that project is so I can focus on this other one instead.”

Now it is the holiday season and the countdown to vacation.  I can’t wait!  I am super excited.  Not as much for the shopping and the parties as much as the relaxation!  I may say “no thank you” to a few things.  I need this time to focus on me and my family.  I plan to take walks with my husband and cook for my boys.  I plan to write and work on projects.

What are you planning to do?  Will you be saying “no thank you” to anything over the next few weeks?

Colorful Thoughts

Posted on December 8th, 2012 by & filed under Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

My aunt always liked jewel tones and my mom liked earth tones. They were identical twins. This was the one thing they differed on, color. I remember vividly how they would laugh and laugh when they realized they had the same purse or the same dress. Sometimes they would send each other the same exact birthday card, purchased on different days in different stores in different cities. They were so much alike. They would show up to a family gathering wearing the exact same dress purely by coincidence. But mom would always choose the boring tans, browns, beige or mauve. My aunt would be in blue, red, or purple.

My mom did like green. She called it Kelly Green. I am wearing that color today. Technically emerald green is a jewel tone but Forrest green or hunter green is an earth tone. Kelly green falls just in between. I was always intrigued by my aunt’s choice of colors and found her personality to be more bright, vital and exciting than my mom’s. I remember they once had the same wallet, Mom’s was green and Auntie’s was purple. She was a kick! I do not remember my mom ever having anything purple ever. Not one thing.

I like the bright colors. Red is my favorite. All shades. After my aunt died and my mom became very ill, my mom had a liver transplant and was given a second chance on life. It was a miracle for so many reasons. After mom’s recovery she lived a celebratory life. She was so happy and free from pain and suffering for many years. One major difference I noticed in her personality was her choice of colors. She began to decorate her home in bold reds and pinks in contrast with the white and bland walls and floors that surrounded her. She wore bright colors for the first time. Still earthy tones but mostly bright orange and yellow. I was inspired by this and thrilled by the contagious joy she expressed. It was her turn to shine. I know how much she missed her twin sister. She was often sad with heartbreak and she suffered from the guilt that she had a miracle when her own identical twin sister died of the same disease that she had.

It helps to think that she carried on the joyousness and zest for life that my aunt always had. I hope I can do that for my sister.

My sister also died of the same disease my mom and my aunt had. It’s most likely I will too. My sister and I had a thirteen year age difference, so we didn’t have many similarities in experience or preferences that the twins did. My sister and I were very different. There are a few things that we both always liked like makeup, dressing glamorous, power suits, and high heels.

My sister had a bold, bright, and beautiful love of God and life.

Me too!

 

The Present is a Gift by Jeffrey Friend

Posted on December 6th, 2012 by & filed under Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” -James Thurber

This is the essence of living in the present moment.

The past has gone, the future has not yet arrived, but the present will always be here. You can create something out of nothing when you “look around in awareness.”

Don’t worry, the future will get here.

It’s great to strategically plan for future difficulties, but be careful not to place fears in the future and create those difficulties. When we worry about the future, sometimes we imagine what might happen, and sometimes our images are negative. What if everything we imagined came true? Of course that isn’t true, but it is true that we tend to gravitate toward what we focus on. So if you do imagine the future (even if there is a difficult situation coming up), imagine it in a positive light.

It’s important to be at peace with the past.

It is sometimes necessary to recall events from the past, but be careful not to invite the negative feelings along with them. Those feelings should have no space in the present moment, no room to breathe and spread like wildfire. If you don’t come to peace with those past events and people, they will continue to control your present and future. If you need to confront someone in order to come to peace with it, do so. It’s not worth carrying around with you, and it’s inhibiting your growth.

There truly is nothing but the present moment.

The past and future exist only in our minds, but the present exists in every part of us. Take a deep breath and let it out, feel the chair you’re sitting on and the clothes you’re wearing, smell the aromas around you, and really take the time to taste the food you’re eating and the beverage you’re drinking. Quiet your mind, highten your senses, and breathe. Just for a moment – do it now for 5 breaths. No matter how busy you think you are, you have 15 seconds available right now to do this.

Meet Jeffrey Friend of Kraizen Ways:
Jeffrey FriendJeffrey Friend has been living by the “Kaizen” philosophy in both life and work for the past seven years. In his MBA program in 2005, he did a case study on Toyota and found out that they use a Japanese philosophy throughout their entire business structure, and that philosophy is “Kaizen” (for a definition of Kaizen, please click here). At that point he began to see the similarities between his personal philosophies (about life, work, etc.) and the Kaizen philosophy.
Jeffrey’s website takes a unique look at Life, Work, Relationships, Health, Personal Development, Happiness and Spirituality, and illustrates how the Kaizen philosophy is used to turn small steps into big changes for all areas of your life. The goal is that you get everything you want out of life without getting in your own way.

Motivation

Posted on November 30th, 2012 by & filed under Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

Love
Be happy
Explore
Enjoy
Be authentic

Use the silent voice of your integrity to find your inner peace

Return to the truth
Return to love
Live in happiness

I believe I need to cheer myself on at times
You can do this
Yes I can
I am capable
I can rely on and trust myself
I am dependable
I am the glue

See the world with the eyes of truth
Don’t let the parasitic voice in your head take over the dream of your life
Speak only truth
Live in love
Have no fear

Believe that anything is possible

Invest your faith in yourself

Experience the truth

What you perceive is your truth

Use words to make a portrait of what you witness

I believe that God is the artist
I am the muse
My words are inspired
I can paint a picture or create a lasting image with my words
I can show the world what I have seen, what I have witnessed, and what I feel in my heart

Create your own story
Create your own art

.

Inspired by don Miguel Ruiz

Honk if You Love Your Car! #NHBPM Day 9

Posted on November 10th, 2012 by & filed under 30 Health Blog Posts in 30 Days, Be Inspired, Everything Miz Meliz

I was in an automobile accident a few months ago.  Just before the accident, I had a strange feeling of insight. It was a moment of pure joy. I thought to myself, “You know what, things are good!”

Everything was going great. I even checked off the mental list. Getting along with my friends. Check. Up to date on what is going on with everyone in the family. Check. Everyone is healthy. Check.  Things are great with my hubby and the boys. Check. Got some money in the bank and bills are paid. Health, not bad. I have all the things that make me happy. I feel really good about this.

My internal blissful pep talk continued.  Work is good. Blogging is going great. Writing is taking off. I was almost done with my online courses for life coaching certification.  I have a plan and I have been working on that “Bucket List!” In fact, to top things off, I have the toys that I love. I have my iPhone with which I happily and openly enjoy my addiction. But the best thing ever is that I have something that I have wanted for so long and it’s mine, all mine, I have my Jeep!

When I was nineteen, I bought my first Jeep Wrangler.  I had to sell it after I got married because I could not afford the payments  I always wanted another one.  For years I put it out of my mind because it was impractical.   But now, the kids are big and I was finding myself alone driving around a seven passenger luxury minivan. So, I sold it and bought the car of my dreams.  The car of my youth.  My lovely, awesomely cute, utterly cool Jeep. I have gained popularity and notoriety that I have not known for many many years because of a vehicle. I love it. I am in love with it. I have never loved a thing so much. (Maybe for a little while I loved my engagement ring in a similar way. But that was in the beginning. Now I love it for sentimental reasons and for what it stands for.) Until now, I have not had the satisfactory feeling of loving something that I wanted, worked for, waited for, and got all on my own and according to plan that had nothing to do with anyone or anything else but my own true interests and desires.

I was driving along thinking about what a gorgeous day it was. Sunny and warm. I was cruising along Pacific Coast Highway on a perfectly clear summer afternoon. Enjoying the view of the ocean. Blasting the tunes. No worries. No hurry. Just enjoying the ride. I thought about how much I loved this moment and how much I loved my Jeep. We have a perfect relationship. My Jeep is used and a little old, like me, but still cute and feisty with lots of energy and strength. My Jeep is still fashionable enough and cool enough that even the teens and my husband enjoy riding in it, driving it, and they even love that it is mine. I feel good in it. The seat and controls are a perfect fit for me and for my body. I love the sound of the music coming from the stereo speakers on the roll bar.  I love the hum of the engine. I love the feel of driving it, kicking the clutch and shifting the gears, turning the steering wheel and leaning into a curve in the road.

I love everything about driving a Jeep. I love the looks I get when I am in it. I love the waves I get from other Jeep drivers.  I love the feeling of the warm sun on my shoulders and the cool wind on my legs as I drive along “topless” and “doorless” on a hot day. I love the freedom of not having to lock it or set an alarm on it because there are no doors and no roof to contain anything in it anyway. I love the way I giggle and smile just because it makes me feel so darn good. I never expected to like having a yellow vehicle and I know that sometimes it looks like a service vehicle at the beach, but I will say this, you can never be bummed out in a bright yellow car.  Every time I hopped in it, I was cheered right up!

There are some down sides.  I can’t go very fast in it. It sucks down a lot of gas. I can’t take many passengers with me. It’s not comfortable for passengers.  I can’t care about keeping a hairstyle. In fact, I have acquired a lot of hats and a ponytail is my basic go to style. There is not very much cargo space. I can’t go shopping in it if I plan to take more than one stop because there isn’t enough room to store my purchases and no way to lock them up. It’s bumpy and I spill my coffee going over the train tracks. But I don’t care about those things. I am in love. Maybe a bit too much. It’s not good to love something this much.

I wasn’t actively thinking about any of this at the time.  No, I was thinking about making tacos for the kids and their friends.  Yes, I was making a mental shopping list.  I was thinking about how much work would be, but how I felt good that day and I really wanted to make tacos.  I was wondering, where is that lazy susan?  I can put all the ingredients on it and have a taco bar.  Then. . . I saw a car turn right in front of me and as I slammed on my breaks, I thought, “Oh no, you didn’t!” Sccrreeeeaaaccchhhhh . . .  She did.  A woman turned left when I was driving along in oncoming traffic.  I had the right of way.  I had a green light.  I was not speeding.  She just went for it, I guess.  That is why my first thought was, “No you didn’t.”  But she did.  I tried with all my might and my Jeep worked to the best of its twelve-year-old ability.  All of that strength and steel and power went into stopping and avoiding a collision.  All of my driving experience and ability and strength and fortitude went into avoiding the accident.  The skid marks were at least ten feet long.  Sssccreeeaacchhhhh….. and in one heartbeat, one surreal little crystal clear moment of clarity, this IS happening “Dang it!” . . .CRASH! We collided in the intersection.

I was able to slow the Jeep down enough and turn to the left enough to avoid hitting her full on, but my right front end hit her right front end and then my car swerved around from the force of the collision and I came within inches of hitting another car ‘”head on” that was in the left turn lane of the street on the right,  perpendicular to the one I was originally travelling on.  I looked into the face of the woman in that car, it was  Jeep Cherokee, so we literally were eye to eye.  I remember looking at her and saying, “I can’t move, you are going to have to go around.” She just stared at me.  Later I realized she must have been in shock.  I almost just careened into her!  The accident happened right in front of her.  But my vehicle had stopped moving.  My Jeep took it’s last breath in that moment.  Airbags deployed, engine stalled, right front end bashed in, bumper crunched, and hood dented, it was over.  I knew instantly, these were my last moments in my beloved Jeep.  That sounds so stupid now.  But at the moment I was heartbroken.

I was worried about the woman who was in the other car.  I could tell that she was conscious, but she took a bad hit.  Her little import made of fiberglass was demolished.  It was no match for my steel.  You do not want to get in a collision with a Jeep.  Trust me.  There was broken glass everywhere from her vehicle.  I realized that my doors were not on and my top was not up, I had just sustained a serious accident in a convertible with glass and debris flying everywhere, and after a brief once over, I realized that I did not have a scratch on me.

All of these moments went by very fast.  People from inside the business on the corner were coming towards me and the other driver to help.  I reached over to get my purse and cell phone which were still on the passenger seat. (Weird.) I tried to start my car and it did not turn over.  I wanted to get out.  I guess I unbuckled my seat belt, but I don’t remember actually doing it.  My left knee hurt like it was scraped and bleeding, but I looked at it and nothing appeared hurt. I wasn’t bleeding.  I could barely breathe. I must have inhaled the powder from the airbag.   I swung my legs out of the Jeep and I went to step out and I couldn’t put my weight on my leg.  I almost fell.  I grabbed on to the steering wheel, a man was there who helped me.  I told him, “I think I broke my leg, I can’t walk on it.”

A few people helped me over to the curb.  Someone brought me ice for my leg.  Someone brought me a chair and helped me to move over to the shade.  Someone was helping the other woman, too.  Everyone was asking questions.  I was crying.  She was in shock.  She could barely speak.  Her pale face was marked by her black mascara as her tears ran down her cheeks.  She was horrified.  It was heartbreaking.  I couldn’t stop looking at my Jeep.  It still looked good.  Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.  From where we sat bruised and shaken, the vehicles looked okay.

People were trying to start it and move it out of the intersection, when the horn started blaring. The police arrived.  Someone had called an ambulance.  The EMTs arrived.  A tow truck arrived.  I called home.  My husband was on the way.  I asked someone who worked at the Starbucks on the corner to use my cell phone and take pictures of the scene.  (Later, when I looked at the pictures I realized how delusional I was to think that the accident wasn’t that bad.  My Jeep was not getting fixed. Both cars were toast.) I was being asked so many questions and for every one of them, my answer was, “I have that on a card.” I handed out my Auto Club card, my auto insurance card, my driver’s license, my business card, and most helpful – my “I am a Diabetic” card.  Sometime ago, I received some pamphlet that had a card that said, “I HAVE DIABETES, if I am unresponsive please call 911 immediately.  There are blank spaces to fill in name, medicines, allergies, doctor name and phone number, and emergency contact name and phone number.   I had filled in this card and kept it in my wallet.  It came in handy when the paramedics asked me if I am taking any medications.

When I was moved onto a stretcher and put in the ambulance and my Jeep was loaded onto a flat-bed tow truck, I realized that I loved that thing too much.  It can be (and was) replaced.  I have so much more in my life to be grateful for and love. It is true that it brought me much joy and excitement.  Yet, I know that it is my zest for life that made it so.

After hours in the ER, x-rays, and examinations, I found out that it was a sprained ankle that I couldn’t step on.  Nothing was broken. I am all better now.  Even though it was a few months ago and I have healed, I still feel phantom pain in my knee where I thought that I was bleeding that day.

Although I am sharing this as a ‘memory’ with the National Health Blog Post Month for WEGO Health, I had already been writing this for weeks.  Unsure when or why I would post it.  It is nothing more than a happening.  A memory.   A blip in my life.  Okay, it is a bit more.  I learned something about myself.  After mourning for my beloved yellow Jeep and getting over the loss of the thing that I cherished so much, I realized that it wasn’t the Jeep that made me cool, or interesting, or fun.  It’s me.  I am those things.  I was those things the twelve years that I drove the mom-mobile, aka mini-van.  But for whatever reason, I didn’t care about those things and they didn’t come out as much back then.

There is an undeniable pleasure that comes with driving a “fun car” or a convertible, or a status symbol.  Combine that with appreciating every good health day and truly living and enjoying every experience in my day-to-day life while mixing it up with the gratitude in my heart for every chance that I have to do so, and I can’t help but rock it in my new Jeep!  Close friends asked me why would I get another Jeep after the accident.  Perhaps a safer or newer vehicle would suit me better.  As if I was using the Jeep to get something out of my system.  As if it had been a mid-life crisis pacification.  As if by crashing it, that part of my life is now over and I should go back to driving a more sensible car.  As if it was unlucky or something.  I will admit, I considered other makes and models briefly.  But all the cars had the same criteria.  They had to be fun, convertible and old.  (Just like me!) When the insurance money came and my ankle was healed, it did not take long to find a Jeep that was comparable to my last one.  Once behind the wheel, I knew it was the right thing for me.  Most people think that I got the yellow one painted red.  As if I would change the color to suit my mood!  Hey, there’s an idea!

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